Page 138 of Under the Waves
Three days was how long it took for my mom to realize she still had a daughter.
Three days I was left in there wondering if I still had a home to come back to.
There were tears in the corners of Jasper’s eyes.
His skin pale and gray.
Lips agape.
Horror.
Shock.
Disbelief.
After a moment, he gulped, whispering the words, “You truly are one hell of a fighter, Poppy Wells. My little fucking survivor.”
Jasper didn’t tell me he was sorry for what I went through. He didn’t look at me and only see the scars I bore and the memories I buried. Nor did he tell me there was no way he could survive what I had.
Instead, he held me close to him and let me take up as much space as I needed in his life to process the words I’d never admitted aloud to anyone else before. Somehow, he always knew exactly what I needed, and I’d never been more grateful for that spidey-sense of his more than I was right now.
“You know, you shouldn’t feel ashamed to seek help just because you feel like your trauma, what you went through, isn’t as bad as what someone has been through. Because you think others have it a lot worse. Your feelings, whatever you’ve been through and endured…it does matter, Wellsy. It matters to me.Youmatter to me, Poppy. And I hope you know you can always ask me for help if you ever need it.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, and for once in my life, I truly did believe I had someone in my corner I could turn to.
Jasper gazed out to where the snow-covered tips of themountains rose above the endless sea of green. “The mountains…they don’t apologize for how much space they take up in the world, Poppy. You don’t have to be compact,digestible, to be loved. You don’t have to fit inside their small box of how you should behave to feel cared for. You are not too much. You areyou, and you are perfect to me. But more importantly, you should be perfect becauseyouwant to be. Not because someone else demands it of you. If they can’t see how kind and caring you are, that’s a fault onthem, not you. You are unapologetically yourself, and no one can demand more or less of you than you are willing to give them. You deserve to feel loved and cared for Wellsy, and I’m sorry you’ve gone through life all these years not hearing those words.”
Sniffling, I somehow managed to whisper, “You’re my favorite Spiderman, Jasper Ridge.”
My favorite person in the world.
If anyone—anyone, dared break him…
I’d raise hell on earth to get all of his pieces back.
No amount of gold trophies or colorful ribbons could ever compare to the feeling of being loved by Jasper Ridge.
“Yeah?” he grinned so fucking wide it made my own cheeks hurt just by looking at him. “You’re my favoriteeverything.”
“For infinity,” I promised, snuggling into his side.
“For infinity,” he whispered back, pressing a light kiss to the top of my head.
After a while, Jasper smiled, tilting his head up to meet the sky as raindrops fell onto our skin.
“The sun is out and the rain is pouring, Wellsy. Stay in this moment with me,” he glanced towards me then, stretching out his hand as he stood up. “Stay with me.”
I placed my hand in his as he helped me up. My breath hitched as his arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me flush up against him. We were so close, our noses were inches away from touching.
Bringing my hand up to his cheek, I wiped away a lone rain drop and smeared it across his skin. “I’ll always stay with you, Ridge.”
Jasper’s honey-brown eyes locked onto mine and I swear I felt my heart flutter.
“I’m keeping you, my Gwen,” he whispered, tucking asoaked strand of hair behind my ear before cupping both my cheeks in his palms. “For infinity.”
I giggled, the sound unlike anything I had ever heard myself make before.
“I’m keeping you, too, my Spiderman,” I replied, smiling up at him—a pure and genuine smile, so wide it made my cheeks hurt.