Page 197 of Under the Waves
“There’s no one else inside there, kid,” a bearded fireman coughed, his arms barring me against his chest and I kicked and squirmed in a last desperate attempt to reach her. “It’s too late.”
“I can’t be too late,” I choked, blistered with reddened eyes and dampened cheeks. “I can’t…”
“I’m sorry, kid.”
Before I knew it, my knees were scraping against the gravel as little red rivers seeped out beneath them. I collapsed helplessly under my own weight like a sunken anchor on the seafloor, submerged and lost under the waves.
“Wellsy…” I rasped, fingernails scraping against the pavement as I attempted to haul myself back to my feet to get to her.
A pair of arms wrapped around me again, except this time, I knew who they belonged to by touch alone.
“I’ve got you, Jas. I’ve got you,” that familiar voice called out.
And I knew he had.
“You’re okay,” Jakson whispered, voice strained as if he was trying his best to hold himself together for me. “I won’t let you go.”
“T-they wouldn’t,” I gasped, “l-let me save her. I couldn’t save her, Jakson. She’s gone. She’s reallygone.”
Each word wracked another sob from my body. I’d become a trembling mess of burning blisters and smoke tattered cheeks, flimsy heart strings and heaving lungs.
“I need to see her,” I roared, desperately attempting to scramble away from Jakson. Every inch of my body fought to get back inside that house. To see her. To hold her. One lasttime. “I need to see her!”
They’d only found one body. A body that didn’t belong to my Wellsy. She was still inside that house. A house that was being torn to shreds by roaring flames, a stroke of a merciless touch at the hands of fate.
“They won’t let me see her,” I sobbed, the sound feral and desperate, unlike anything I had ever heard myself make before. “They won’t—I need to—”
“There is no body,” Jakson whispered, lips ajar and trembling. The tips of his cheeks patterned with specks of soot almost like stars. “There’s nothing left, Cap. The fire—”
My world went silent.
Jakson’s voice was lost to me.
I couldn’t hear anything anymore.
Nothing at all except for the pounding of my heart.
But when I looked to that house, I felt my heart stop beating. My only reason was now gone. Only then did I realize why the firefighters hadn’t stepped foot back inside.
There was nobody left to save.
She died inside that house, alone and frightened.
If only I hadn’t gone to training that morning.
If only I had stayed with her.
If only I had gotten home three minutes earlier.
If only, if only, if only…
Maybe she would still be here, in my arms, with me, safe and sound.
“Did you say you were the little girl’s boyfriend, kid?” The same fireman asked me again, holding out a smoke-tainted envelope to me. “I think…I think you should have this. I’m so sorry.”
Without a second glance, without another word other thanI’m so sorry,he walked away back towards where the rest of his crew worked to calm the roaring flames that were advancing with every passing breath.
Glancing down at the warm envelope in my hands, I stared at the all-too-familiar handwriting decorating the cover. Tearing open the envelope, I held my breath as I took out the cream-colored note inside.