Page 198 of Under the Waves
Dear Jasper,
I’m sorry. For everything.
I thought I was strong enough to hold on, to stay, to fight for just that little bit longer.
But I was wrong.
You said for infinity, and I almost bought it. But happy endings were never ours to own. I fought. I promise, I tried. But I was so tired, Jasper. So tired all the time.
I couldn’t…I couldn’t hold on any longer.
I hope you can find it somewhere in your heart to forgive me one day. I still love you, I promise. It was never you, so please don’t blame yourself.
I know, despite what you told me, you tried your hardest to fix me, and even though you may have believed I was never broken to begin with, it was nice to pretend for a while that it could’ve been true.
Thank you for everything.
And always remember, I love you 3000.
Your Wellsy, for infinity.
I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think straight.
“No,” I cried, crumbling up the note and throwing it into the wind. “It’s alllies!” Hoarsely, I yelled each word whilst Jakson and the gathering crowd of people looked at me like I was crazy. A madman who had finally broken.
“Jasper–” Jakson whispered, stepping towards me slowly.
“No,” I pleaded with him, with everyone, with the world and the damned fucking universe. To any higher power who might be out there listening. “How can you just stand there! She isn’tdead. I know she isn’t. You have to believe me!”
“I know, I do.” He stepped forward once more, just as I stepped backwards.
He didn’t believe me. I could see it on his face, in the way his brows drew together, and his eyes glanced atme in a pitiful way.
“You have to believe me! This letter is fake! She wouldn’t have killed herself, and she wouldn’t have set that fire! Her mom—her momhither, Sonny! She abused her and I had no fucking idea about any of it! You should’ve seen her last night, there was no fucking inch of her that was bleeding or bruised.Hell, that’s what was going on behind those walls, absolute fuckinghell, and I was utterly clueless!Everyonein this fucking town was! You have to believe me,please…”
“Ido,” he repeated, wrapping his arm around my side, guiding me down the path away from the flames.Away from her.“I do, Cap. I do.”
I will find you,I vowed, refusing to accept that ending.
I promised her once I’d find her happy ending, and I sure as hell wasn’t stopping now.
I love you 3000, Poppy Wells.
For infinity, and always.
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Jasper Ridge
[20:02 pm, voicemail,MY SPIDERMAN <3]
Jasper:Hey Wellsy, coach kept us late for practice again. I’m just walking up the road now, I’ll be around three minutes. I can’t wait to see you. It’s been killing me all day to not ditch these idiots and come home to you. I swear the universe is trying to keep us apart…Anyways, I’m on my way back now so I’ll see you in five. See you soon, my little Gwen Stacy. Oh, and don’t worry about the scholarships, Wellsy, we have all the time in the world.
Prometo.
Voicemail failed to be delivered.
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