Page 74 of An Alien for Her Heart
I’m left with my heart in my throat, my breaths coming hard as my back presses against the door and my eyes try desperately to adjust to the absolute darkness in the room.
The next thing that hits me is the heat. It’s like walking into a furnace, the air thick and heavy with a primal, masculine energy that makes my skin prickle and my blood sing.
I blink, eyelids fluttering as I try to make out Varek’s form in the pitch-black room. The only sound is my heavy breathing and the pounding of my heart in my ears.
“Varek?” I whisper, taking a slow step forward.
A low, pained groan echoes from far away, making me freeze in place.
“Stay back,” Varek rasps, his voice rough and strained. “Please, Catherine. You shouldn’t be here. It’s not safe.”
I shake my head, even though he probably can’t see me in the darkness. “I’m not afraid,” I inch further into the room. “I trust you, Varek. Completely.”
There’s a rustling sound, like he’s shifting restlessly, followed by a dull thud as if he slams his fist into the wall. “You don’t understand,” he grits out, and I can hear the agony in his tone.“I can barely control myself. And this is just the start. You’re so precious. Too precious.” More rustling. “Leave now.”
“No.” Cautiously, I keep moving forward, navigating by sound and memory until my shin bumps against what I think is the bed. I pause, not realizing I’d made it that far in his quarters. “I’m not going anywhere.” I try my best to parse the darkness as I sink down onto the mattress. “This…rut. It means your core-rhythm has sung, doesn’t it?”
There’s a scraping sound like his claws are digging into the flooring.
“That I’m your mate?” The words make my heart swell. I can hardly believe it. But my disbelief will have to be enjoyed another time. Not now. Not when this is a matter of life and death.
“You’remine,” he snarls, his voice sounding inhuman in a way that makes something flutter inside me.
“And you’re mine.”
A shuddering breath escapes him, and I feel the bed dip as he presses down on the far edge, keeping a careful distance between us.
“Leave, Catherine. Leave now.” It isn’t a normal whisper, his voice. It holds a threat beneath it that should make me run. Instead, I remain where I am, against all my instincts of self-preservation. “I could never forgive myself if I…” He trails off.
But if what Xarion said is true… “I won’t leave you here to die.”
There’s silence. Tense silence before Varek curses. “They told you.”
“Yes,” I whisper, inching closer ever so slowly, giving him time to pull away if he needs to. “And I still choose you.” I reach out through the darkness until my fingers brush against his arm. He flinches at the contact but doesn’t move away.
“I don’t want to hurt you.” His voice is so distorted now, as if he’s fighting something primal and dangerous all at once. As if he’s fighting a beast within him.
“You won’t.” I trail my hand up to cup his jaw. Because I know about living with pain. About being hurt and broken in ways that feel like they’ll never heal. And I know this male, this wonderful, gentle, patient male, would never do the same to me, mentally or physically, despite his own fears.
I can feel the tension thrumming through him, the way he’s fighting to hold himself back. “I know you, Varek. I trust you.”
He leans into my touch for just a moment, a soft, wounded sound catching in his throat. I feel the exact moment his resolve crumbles, his body shuddering against mine as he lets out a ragged groan.
“Catherine,” he rasps, my name a desperate, reverent prayer on his lips.
“Shh, I know,” I whisper. Slowly, giving him time to adjust, I slide my hand from his jaw to the back of his neck, my fingers tangling in the sweat-dampened strands of his hair. “I’m here.”
A broken sound escapes him and then he’s moving, his large claws gripping my hips as he hauls me fully across the bed. I barely have time to gasp before he’s hovering over me, his powerful body caging me in, surrounding me with his heat and scent.
But he doesn’t touch me, not yet. I can feel the tension vibrating through him, the barely leashed control as he fights his baser instincts.
“Catherine,” he says again, his voice guttural, on the edge of human and completely beastlike. “If we do this…if I claim you…there’s no going back.” His claws flex against my hips, pricking my skin through the thin fabric of my dress. “You’ll be mine, utterly and completely. My mate. Forever.”
All I feel is a bone-deep rightness at his warning, a soul-deep certainty that this is exactly where I’m meant to be—beneath him, bound to him, in heart, body and spirit. Maybe he was right about fate and the paths we take. Here, right now, I believe I was always meant to be here at this exact place, this exact moment.
I reach up, framing his face in my hands as I stare into the glowing embers of his eyes. “I already am,” I tell him softly. “This is just making it official.”
He shudders violently, a low growl rumbling up from his chest. “I won’t be able to be gentle. The rut…it will demand I take you, hard and fierce and thorough. I’ll scratch you. I’ll bite you. I might…”