Page 76 of Bloodlust

"Danny..." Resting my palm against his headstone, I whisper in a wavering tone, "I think I need to set you free too..."

I can't pretend anymore. I can't keep putting flimsy bandaids on the growing cracks of my psyche. Nothing helps. Nothing lasts. They always get bigger. They've been growing for years. I'm ready to shatter. I'm ready to fucking explode. It hurts. It hurts every day. But maybe...fuckingmaybeif I let go...if I finally explode...the pain will stop. The hurting will stop. The agony will fucking stop.

"I'm tired, Danny. I'm so tired. I... I don't want you to be my ghost anymore." My eyelids flutter shut, each crack expanding. "I don't want a ghost, Danny. I'm so sick and tired of your ghost."

My heart aches in my chest as it pumps him out of my blood, as my heart pushes him through each and every crack.

"I'm so sorry, Danny, but I can't hold on anymore, okay? I..." I ball my hand up into a fist, gripping the hem of my jacket. "I need to say goodbye..." My pulse slows down as the words leave my quivering lips, the taste of salt on my tongue. "I need to move on, Daniel." I swallow. "Please let me."

"He doesn't need to be your ghost, Mils. He can be your angel instead."

My posture stiffens as I jerk my head toward the voice. "What are you doing here?" I ask, clearing my throat as I abruptly stand up, scanning Leo up and down. "Did you follow me here?"

"Frankie said you gave him the day off." Leo scratches the back of his head, looking away sheepishly. "I was worried about you." He pauses, meeting my eyes with hesitation before adding, "He also said Pinto died... Last time someone died you..." He glances at Daniel's grave. "You tried to?—"

"I just wanted to sleep," I state, gritting my teeth. "That's all."

"We both know that's not true, Mils." Leo takes a step toward me, the genuine concern in his stare making me uncomfortable. "You didn't need a full bottle." Pain flashes across his face. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

"I need you to stop, Leo," I whisper, wiping the drying tears on my cheeks. "Stop acting like you care about me."

"No,youneed to stop, Mils." Leo expels a labored sigh as he cups my chin, his gaze flicking across my frowning face. "Stop pushing me away. Stop…" He shakes his head. "Idocare about you. I do." He looks over at the grave again. "Daniel was your ghost, Camilla, but you..." He swallows. "You've been mine."

"And now what?" I ask, pushing his hand away as I take a step back. "You want me to be your angel? Is that what you want?"

"I want you to forgive me, Mils," Leo whispers shamefully. "I shouldn't have left you. I know that, but I can't go back and change the past." He reaches for my left hand, dwarfing it between his palms. "Can we forget the past and...and instead focus on the future." Keeping my gaze, he sinks down on one knee. My eyes widen at the disrespect as he produces a ring. Again. "I will never leave you again, Camilla. I will stay with you always. Marry me."

"Jesus fucking Christ," I mutter, shaking my head in utter disbelief. "Are you seriously that delusional?"

"But..." Leo frowns, glancing up at me, his brows marring. "But you said goodbye..."

"Goodbye doesn't always mean hello," I say, scowling at him. "Who... What…?" I blow a gust of incredulous air out my mouth, unable to follow his thought process. I click my tongue. "For fuck's sake, can you please stand up and put that thing away?"

Leo blinks up at me. "You're saying no?'

I flap my hand against my side. "Are you... Did you hit your head on something, Leo? Did you fall?" I tilt my head. "Like, I'm seriously asking you. Did you fall?"

Leo clears his throat as he props himself upright. "You only have a few days left, Camilla," he says in a flat tone, clearly wounded by my rejection. "The Council's getting impatient. You're going to have to make a decision soon."

"I'm aware," I say as my phone vibrates. I smile, reading a text from Hayden.

The Doc

Made reservations at Blue Lagoon. 7 PM. Don't be late.

I type out a quick reply.

Camilla

I like it when you're bossy.

Instant reply.

The Doc

You haven't seen bossy, Miss Bianco.

Camilla