Page 49 of Loving Jemima
“Hey! Hey! Over here!” Mo was waving wildly at her.
Jem grinned. She couldn’t help but like the assistant. Their positive attitude and easy friendliness made them easy to like.
“Got your ticket?” Mo asked as she got closer.
She pulled it out of the pocket of her tight pants.
“My, aren’t you looking glam,” said Mo.
“Thanks, you’re not looking bad yourself,” Jem said, surveying the long, silky sarong that Mo was wearing coupled with a tightly buttoned shirt.
Mo did a little twirl. “You’re going to love this place. Full of great music and plenty of people.” They winked at her. “So if you want to slope off early with a nice girl, just give me the nod and I’ll cover for you.”
“With a nice girl.” Her mouth was dry. She wasn’t used to this. Wasn’t used to people just… knowing.
“Or… not?” Mo said, looking a bit confused.
“No, no, I like nice girls,” she said, there was no point in lying. Besides, what harm did it do that Mo knew and was open about it? It wasn’t like Mo was going to be playing polo with Jasper or anything.
“Uh-huh,” said Mo, eyeing her up and down. “You like nice girls, or do you like one in particular?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” She stood up on tiptoes, looking at the queue in front of them to see how fast it was moving but mostly to avoid Mo’s eye.
“It means you’ve hit on Ellie once and you could do it again,” Mo said reasonably.
“What’s she told you?” Jem sank back down to the pavement, taking a step back from Mo.
“Nothing,” Mo said quickly. Then they smiled. “Is there something to tell?”
“No,” said Jem before realizing she’d responded way too fast and definitely given the game away. “Maybe,” she said with asigh. “Except she’s not interested. I think. Or she is and I’m not the right person or… I don’t know.”
Mo took her hand. “I’m not entirely sure we get to pick the right person,” they said.
“Got experience with that, have you?” she snapped back.
They shrugged. “Dunno. Maybe. I’m not sure yet. I’m not sure what the hell’s going on with my love life. I am sure about what’s going on with Ellie’s though, and that’s absolutely nothing. So you’re in with a shot.”
“She wants to stay professional,” Jem said glumly.
“Bullshit. Her life could use a shake up.”
Jem was running out of energy for this conversation. She closed her eyes. “There’s a problem. I mean, I think it’s the problem. But then there’s no guarantee, is there? Maybe the problem is just an excuse and then I’m destroying my life for no reason and—”
“And what on earth are you talking about?” Mo broke in.
Jem opened her eyes again. “I’m, um, I’m not exactly, er… open about things. And Ellie isn’t interested in someone who, um, isn’t open.”
Mo’s eyes widened in understanding and they nodded. “Fair enough, on both parts. I mean, your journey is your own, no one can make decisions about your coming out other than you. But then it’s Ellie’s right not to want to be involved with someone she can’t be honest about. Surely you can see that?”
“I do see that, I do. I just… it’s so hard. I don’t know what to do. I like her. God knows why, but I do. I’ve been drawn to her since the first time I saw her, but I don’t know if I’m ready for something like this, for just announcing things.”
Mo squeezed her hand. “I can’t help you with that,” they said, pulling her closer. “But just so you know, when you’re ready, I’m here for you. So will Carys be, and Ellie too.” They gestured around at the line of people waiting to go inside. “There’s a whole community of us queers out here, all dancing in the sunlight, all waiting to welcome you with open arms. But the dark is safe, I get that. So you take all the time you need.”
Jem felt tears pricking in her eyes. “Thanks,” she said, pulling away again. She wasn’t going to cry in public. “Come on, let’s skip this line.”
“We can’t do that,” said Mo.
“Obviously we can,” said Jem, pulling them by the hand until they were both marching up to the bouncer. “We’re with the band,” Jem said, with a bright smile and a twenty pound note just poking out from behind her ticket.