Page 93 of Loving Jemima
“What’s stopping you from saying it?” Rolly asked.
“I don’t know,” said Jem. Even though she really did. What if Ellie ran away? What if Ellie didn’t say it back? What if Ellie freaked out and had another panic attack and died?
“You’re an idiot,” Annabelle said, taking yet another canapé. “That’s what’s stopping you. And it would serve you right if I made a play for Ellie myself. She’s very attractive and stunningly competent.”
“You?” asked Jem.
“What?” Annabelle said. “You’re the only one allowed to sleep with women now, are you?” A waiter passed by with another tray, and Annabelle followed him like a dog after sausages.
“You need to tell Ellie how you feel,” Rolly said. “Or you can’t blame her for not knowing.”
“Fine, fine,” Jem said. She took another glass of champagne from a traveling tray. “But I’ll need at least one more drink before I can say a thing.”
???
Mo was wickedly elegant in a brightly colored kilt and tux jacket, complete with a tartan bow-tie. Ellie hugged them hard. “You look amazing.”
“Not a patch on you,” Carys said, whose full tux and trousers ensemble was itself very fetching.
“Really?” Ellie asked anxiously. “Jem chose everything, I’m not sure about this dress or the fancy hair, to be honest.”
“Relax,” said Mo. “You look fab and everything’s going like clockwork. This is your big night, and you’ve done splendidly.”
“With help from the both of you,” said Ellie.
“Well, we do our best,” said Carys. “Oh, and we have news.”
“You do?”
“We do,” Mo said. “We’re moving in together. Thought we’d let you know.”
Ellie felt a little shaky, but she smiled at them both. “Congratulations.” There was the sound of a crash coming from the catering back room. “Crap.”
“I’ll go,” Mo said.
“So?” Carys said, once Mo was gone.
“So what?”
Carys sighed. “You don’t look thrilled about the fact that me and Mo are living together.”
“Oh God, it’s not that, Car. I promise. I really am happy for you. I’m just… well, I’m worried about Jem and I. You two moving in together is just a reminder that I’m still sleeping in the spare room.”
“For God’s sake, El, you need to talk to the woman. How can you build a relationship without communicating?”
“We do talk,” Ellie said. She shrugged. “Just not about this, for some reason. I…” She sighed. “I want to bring it up, but every time I think about it I get worried that she’s going to get funny about it. Maybe really living together isn’t quite her thing, or she’s not ready for it yet, or she’d prefer to go back to her party lifestyle.”
“El, she goes out with her friends at least once a week, something that I think is an admirable idea, and Mo and I have already taken that advice to heart. You and Jem have your separate sides, but you’re also great together. And, as you once told me, you can’t just assume things. You have to talk them out or you’ll be anxious all the time.”
“I know, I know. You’re right. It’s just, you know she hasn’t even said she loves me?”
“Well, have you?” Carys asked.
“Not exactly.”
Carys shook her head. “You two are exhausting. Listen, take it from someone who wasn’t at all sure what she was doing when she got into her present relationship, the only way through all this is talking, not guessing. So get your big girl pants on and have a conversation.”
“I will, we will. I’ve been so focused on getting this party together that I really haven’t had time to deal with things at home.” Ellie felt a prickling at the back of her neck. She glanced around, but there was no one there.