Page 82 of Your Rule to Break

My stomach clenches as I think about Emilie being on the beach, alone, waiting for me.

“Dad, I love you, but I have to go. My phone is trashed so you won’t be able to get a hold of me, but let’s have dinner when I’m back.”

“I love you too,” he says in a way that hits the inside of my rib cage.

I hang up the phone, thank the front desk worker for letting me use it, and then I start running.

Chapter 43

Emilie

Zack didn’t come tothe beach. He left me standing there, like a hopeless idiot. He didn’t text. He didn’t call. Fuck, for all I know, he’s on a plane back to New York.

Would he do that? Leave without saying anything? No, I don’t think so. But maybe I don’t know him at all.

I thought we were on the same page, but maybe I was wrong? Maybe I scared him away with my whole “tell me you want me.” Was I too needy? Is this the thing that was too much for him?

I don’t know.

I really thought he’d come.

The doubt drips in anxiety with a dash of stress. I know it’s going to do nothing but roll downhill, until it’s impossible to hold in. My hands clench until the muscles in my forearm ache.

There’s no room for any air in my lungs. I can’t catch a breath. I’m emotionally exhausted from the high of waiting for him on the beach and the low of realizing he wasn’t coming.

I thought I’d get a chance to tell him how much he means to me. No matter how we started, I know what I want—maybe it was something I always knew. I want him, and only him.

Now, I’m pouting at my sister’s rehearsal dinner. Thank god I’m not in the wedding—I’m just there for moral support. They practice walking down the aisle, getting the spacing right, and I try to stay in the moment.

Maybe if I focus on something good.

First, Eliza looks better today than she did yesterday. Our spa day was relaxing and quiet—some of her friends came and everyone was on their best behavior. I may or may not have cornered all of them and told them to get their shit together before the day started.

Second, the weather is gorgeous today. The sun is golden in the way you dream about. Warm air, touched with sea salt and sand, circles around me but there’s a light breeze to keep it from being uncomfortable. It’s going to be just as nice tomorrow for the actual wedding.

Third, my parents couldn’t be any less interested in me or what I’m doing. There’s no mask for me to wear, no eggshells to walk on.

Lastly, Mitch looks at Eliza like she’s the sun and his whole world.

Seeing him look at her this way is healing and heartbreaking at the same time. I’ve held on to a lot of anger for the two of them ending up together. Honestly, I wasn’t right for Mitch, and while I would’ve went about this a much different way if I was in their shoes, it’s not worth being angry about anymore.

They clearly love each other.

A tear falls down my cheek. I quickly wipe it away, trying to figure out if it’s out of frustration, sadness, anger, or something I can’t even name. All I know is that it hurts, and I don’t know how something could surprise me like this.

I never thought Zack wouldn’t show up. It’s the surprise that stings the most.

Eliza and Mitch walk back to the beginning of the aisle and do the ceremony practice again.

I check my phone—still nothing from Zack. I sit quietly, trying not to panic.

The empty chair nextto mine is taunting me. It’s Zack’s place at our small rehearsal dinner. His absence is clear and people keep asking me where he is—the best I could come up with is that he’s not feeling well and is back in our room.

I wish that were true.

I still haven’t heard from him. It’s been hours at this point. I wrestle with worry and anger. Is everything okay? And how the fuck could he do this to me?

Dinner is about to be served, and Mitch’s parents both give a speech. They talk about love, partnership, and the magic of having someone next to you, no matter what.