Page 12 of So Long, Honey

“The stars,” she gasped, her head tilting up so far that I thought she might fall over if she didn't stop straining. My hand gently pressed against her lower back. She was too busy enjoying the stars to notice my hot gaze on the side of her face, taking in every moment of pure, unbridled wonder.

“They’re so bright,” she whispered to the sky.

“You’re always staring up at the sky through that telescope,” I said, like it mattered.

Lorraine was lost in the stars.

She stared there, frozen in place, as the rest of the sun disappeared, leaving the valley in darkness, and I just let her. I often came up here just to escape from my Dad screaming across the ranch, angry at the cows for being cows and the grass growing sideways. Sometimes I felt like that grass. It was exhausting, and most days, I needed to clear my head before ball games to even concentrate.

“You can see Eta Carinae from here,” she whispered, her eyes trailing to the sky. “It’s hard to see; for a long time, it wasn’t visible at all, but recently, it’s started to shine brighter in the sky, and soon you’ll be able to see it so clearly.”

“Where?” I asked her over her shoulder, and she lifted her hand, pushing on my chin until I was looking at what she could see. “That star?” I asked.

“It’s not just one star. It’s two; they’ve been unstable for years, and if all the information we have on her is correct, the two stars will eventually supernova together and die.”

“That’s sad,” I whispered, and she turned to look up at me, her face so close to mine.

“It’s not if they collide and supernova. They’ll be together forever. It’s romantic.”

I couldn’t think straight with her lips so close to mine, and I had never been in a position where the thought of kissing a girlmade me nervous. I inhaled slowly, “you’ll have to explain to me how two stars dying is romantic, Mouse.”

She pressed her lips into a thin line, “don’t mock me.”

“I’m not,” I said so quietly that only she and the stars heard me. “Tell me.”

“It’s romantic because even the most unstable star found someone to share the sky with.”

We watched each other for the longest minute of my life, simple and soft, before her brows pulled in tightly, and she went back to being irritated by my presence.

“How are you supposed to do a paper in the dark?” She finally asked, and it pulled a genuine loud laugh from my chest. “I’m not doing homework on a Saturday.”

“Ryan,” she scolded.

“I had to get you away from that museum you call a mansion and into the fresh air.” I shrugged. “Lying was the only way you were going to trust me.”

“That’s contradicting.” Lorraine shook her head and stepped back from me.

“But God, was it worth it,” I said, staring at her framed in the soft purples of the darkening sky and the twinkling lights of the shining stars. I let out a tiny huff of air at her beauty, brighter than any of the stars in competition. I had walked down that street looking for a party and a drunken night but stumbled straight into love. Stupid as it sounded, I knew it was love because I had never felt that way about anything in my entire seventeen years of life. Not even about baseball. Lorraine Field was the only thing that mattered.

“I don’t understand you, Ryan Cody.” She scowled at me. “One moment you’re insufferable, loud, and annoying, and the next…”

“The next what?”

“You’re quiet and charming, it’s…”

“Contradicting?” I offered with a small smile.

“Extremely,” she said with a scrunch of her nose, and my hands flexed at my side, resisting the urge to smooth out the lines of her worried face. “Our relationship is a forced transaction, Ryan. I have to tutor you, and you have to pass English. I don’t know why you’re trying so hard to make something of that. I don’t need your attention even if you’re disguising it for friendship, and I don’t know what you’re trying to get at, but I’m not like those girls that fawn over you. I never will be.”

She watched me momentarily, waiting for me to argue with her, maybe? Or tell her everything she wanted to hear, maybe even spin some version of the truth she was digging for? But there weren’t any ulterior motives. There wasn’t a secret plan to get in her pants or embarrass her. There was just her and the incessant need to be around her.

“You don’tneedthe attention, but you deserve it, Rae,” I said with a slight nod.

“I don’t understand how you came to that conclusion,” she said.

“You could have told me to go away that day on your porch,” I said.

“I did,” she scoffed. “Twice.”