Page 13 of So Long, Honey
“You could have meant it, but you didn’t. And you didn’t again when I came to you for help or when you fed me dinner…” I licked my bottom lip and stepped closer to her. “It’s okay to enjoy the company of others for something other than a transaction; you aren’t wasting time or potential when you stop to enjoy the stars.”
I could see the thoughts swirling behind her glassy blue eyes. Her life had been perfectly curated around her but never for her. She had a perfect house with a perfect little family, but deeper down, somewhere inside her, a girl needed fun and freedom.
Just like the boy in me needed kindness and structure, we fit together like a sharded piece of glass—or, instead, two unstable stars colliding.
“You are a very confusing boy, Ryan.”
“You’ll get used to it, Rae.”
FIELD
The air outside was growing warmer with every passing day, and the dry temperatures made my head dizzy. I should have sat inside at the table with my book, but the sky was a pretty orange color and clear as ever. Once the sun went down, it would be a perfect night for stargazing.
I took a sip of water and set it back on the table beside the porch bench, trying to let the foggy feeling pass without having to call my Mom for help inside. I chewed on my lip, saying a silent prayer that it was temporary nausea from the heat.
With my head in my book, I heard him approach up the driveway and climb the stairs without ever acknowledging his presence.
“Two more papers done.” He set the stack down on the bench next to me. “Let me take you to the fair?”
“No,” I said.
“You love that damn word, say yes,” he chuckled.
“No.” I didn’t look up from the book I was reading, even as he hovered. “If you don’t leave soon, my mother will see you, andyou’ll wish you had listened when I told you to go away the first time.”
“Let me take you to the fair, Rae,” he said again and finally, I looked up at him. “Please.”
Gold danced across those big green eyes, and all I wanted to do was say yes to him. But the school fair? That was one place I wasn’t comfortable. It wasn’t for kids like me. It was loud, bright, and full of people who just saw right through me.
Ryan dropped down into a squat, both of his hands gripping to the bench, effectively caging me in on either side with his arms. “I know exactly what you’re doing inside that pretty little head of yours,” he said, chin tilted toward me. “You’re thinking, I don’t belong at a place like a school fair, that’s for the cool kids, I’m not popular enough or pretty enough.”
I opened my mouth, and he narrowed his eyes.
“But riddle me this,” he said, “why would I want to go to the fair with anyone but the beautiful girl who stole my heart? It seems futile and boring.”
There he went again, using that stupid word like it meant anything to him other than vapid flattery. But his jaw clenched tightly, and his fingers dug into the bench as he waited for my answer.
“I want to take you on the Ferris wheel, Lorraine Field and you can’t stop me.” He added when the silence stretched on for too long.
“It’s—” I said and stopped, “my parents will be there.”
Something similar to insecurity flickered across his expression, an emotion I had never seen before from him. He is usually so confident and unshakable. It was like the day in the parking lot, standing before his dad, just trying to look smaller so the moment of anger would pass.
“Fine,” I said, refusing to use the word yes just to spite him. “But no Ferris wheel, I’m terrified of heights.”
“There’s no way the girl who dances with the stars is afraid of heights,” he said so effortlessly that my mouth fell open, and a sly smirk formed on his face.
“There’s a difference between studying the stars through a telescope and being spun around in the air at sixty feet, Ryan,” I said to him.
“I’ll hold your hand. You’ll be okay.” He said softly and for a split second I believed him. But then I realized that taking his hand wasn’t just for me. It was to steady his own steps as well. I slotted my hand into his and let him pull me from the bench. “I like it when your hair is messy,” he looked at me, now hovering and looking down at me with that same stupid smile that makes my stomach roll with unbridled nerves. “And when you get nervous,” he said quietly, “your cheeks get warm, and your shoulders pin back like you’re trying to stop it from happening.”
There was nothing I could say in response without a jumble of words leaving my mouth that didn’t make any sense. Ryan Cody had me in knots, and I absolutely hated it.
“Are you taking me to the fair or not?” I grumbled, trying to pass off the intense feelings that rumbled through me to my toes.
“Go put a sweater on. It’s supposed to get cold tonight,” he said in a hushed breath.
I hated his stupid tan and freckled skin, his sharp jaw, and bright green eyes, which reminded me of Christmas trees. I pushed back from his gravity, ignoring the undeniable pull of him, and marched inside, closing the door behind me. When I returned, he was standing in the same place I had left him, in his navy blue hoodie, a backward hat that hid the messy strands of dirty blonde hair, and ugly old tattered cowboy boots tucked into his shabby blue jeans. It was such a simple outfit, and for some reason, he looked so handsome. I couldn’t help but smile at him before locking the door behind me.