Page 41 of So Long, Honey

The next swing I took cracked my resolve as the ball connected with the bat and soared out to left field above the heads of all their outfielders. I was numb to the excitement happening behind me in the dugout, everyone hollering for me to run. So I did, but not in the direction I should have.

Leaving first base behind, I jogged to the edge of the field and hopped the fence toward the bleachers, where Mary sat with her brother and a few of his friends.

“What the hell are you doing, Cody?” Tyson snapped with his arm pointed toward the chorus of angry chanting happening from my teammates and coaches.

“Can I have your keys?” I asked her with my hand out.

Mary’s head cocked to the side.

“Get back in the fucking game, Cody!” Tyson growled and tried to break the attention I was giving his sister.

“Please,” my voice cracked as the word came out, and she gently set the key chain in my palm. “Thank you,” I said with a nod and took off toward the parking lot.

“What the hell are you doing?” My father’s voice rang out as I passed him and my brother. They jumped down from the bleachers and followed me, but I ignored his order to stop as my eyes scanned the lot for Mary’s dark red Toyota.

“Ryan!” His voice barked through the sound of upset.

“I can’t see her! The stars, they’re covered!” I yelled back.

“What the… are you high?” My dad snapped.

“No!” I yelled back, my eyes still scanning the cars up and down as my heart raced out of my chest. “The lights, the sound, the game… none of it matters!”

“It’s your future, Ryan! That's all that matters.”

“No, because it drowns her out. The lights are too bright, the noise is too loud…” I whirled on him. “The game doesn’t matter if she’s not here and she isn’t.”

“You’re talking about the Mayor’s girl again, aren’t you?” He sighed and pulled off his cowboy hat, resting it on his hip with a grim expression.

“You can beat my ass about it later, Dad. I have somewhere to be, and it’s not here,” I growled at him.

“Ryan, stop,” he snapped. “You’re never gonna be good enough for that family. You’re a poor farmer's kid, and you just ruined the only shot you had at making a life for yourself. You’reacting like a goddamn fool!” He stepped forward, and I widened my stance, ready for the blow as I put my hands out to stop him.

“If you ever loved me, even for a split second the day I was born, then you’ll let me do this. Because it may not seem like the right decision foryou, but it’s the only decision forme.” I explained to him, but his angry expression held tight in his brows and jaw, never softened.

“Get back on the field, Ryan.” He said with a tight snarl.

“No,” I said, checking the sky once more for the stars.

Twinkling brighter than ever above my head was the North Star.

I lowered my gaze, the red paint of Mary’s car coming into view, “I have to get home.”

He lunged for me, but I was too fast. My cleats on the pavement were loud as I raced toward the car. The weight of my future on my tail but the suffocating pressure of my dreams weighed on my chest. I could hear the team yelling as I popped the door of her car open and climbed inside, the silence jarring as I closed the door.

I turned the engine over and peeled from the parking lot.

I waited with my breath held for the truck's headlights behind me as I sped onto the single-lane highway home, but they never came. He didn’t follow me. I slowed down to a reasonable speed and loosened my grip on the wheel, but my heart was still pounding out of my chest. Out here, without the pesky lights from the city, I could see the sky painted with stars. I could feel her again.

“I’m coming,” I whispered.

It took me less than three hours to get home. I had small bouts of speeding, and nothing about the way I drove was safe, but as I pulled up to her gated community, I knew it had all been for a reason. The game was blaring over the radio, and the boys had managed to win the game without me, just like Coach said.

They had never needed me.

But Lorraine did.

I could feel it in my bones, in the tightly charged muscles that corded together under my too-hot skin. Every nerve was buzzing, and my heart pounded.