Page 61 of This Broken Heart
I didn’t set out with the intention of hurting Erin, but those words fell off my lips before I could think them through.
I’m petrified I might have done irrevocable damage and yet, I cannot summon the courage to apologize. Because she’s going to need more than a simple, I’m sorry. She’s going to need an explanation and damned if I just don’t have one.
When the sun rises the next day, I half expect to find her loading up her little sedan with her bags. But she’s in the kitchen, making coffee with a pinch of salt.
I could almost cry with relief. Instead, I sip my coffee. “It’s moving day.”
She looks up, momentarily confused. She’s not wearing any makeup today. Her hair doesn’t have any product and she’s just got on an oversized hoodie and jeans. And I think this might be my favorite look yet. I didn’t realize her eyelashes were that color. Like strands of copper. I want to cup her face in my hands so I can get a closer look, but I keep them firmly tucked away in my pockets.
“Are your parents all packed up?”
I nod. “Yeah. It’s been a process. Parker’s been a big help.” I rub the back of my neck. “I think mom wants the kids over there today, but if you can help keep them…”
“Out of trouble? No problem.”
“The guys offered to come help.”
She turns away, trying to look disinterested, but I can’t help but to notice the way her shoulders tense. It’s still a raw subject. Probably will be until I can get my act together.
She shrugs. “Well, let me know if there’s anything else I can do to help.”
That feels like a dismissal. Feeling like an asshole, I shove my boots on and step outside, breathing in the chilly December air.
Things seem clearer out here. I’ve moved the heifers over to the pasture by my house and I watch them mill about in the snow.
This right here, this is the stuff that makes sense.
That’s all I need. My kids. Fresh air. And the farm.
Hopping in my truck, I head over to the main house. The second I step into the house, a heavy feeling of oppression settles on my shoulders and I realize I would have been better off with Erin. I can hear the girls yelling at each other from the second floor.
That’s not news. Ever since they were little, they were feisty little things. We’d go to other places and people would tell my parents what angels they were, and we’d just laugh. At home, they were little demons.
Reese is hollering at the top of her lungs. “Just take a chill pill, you witch!”
She slams the door and comes stomping down the steps. She slows down slightly when she sees me. “If you were smart, you’d turn right around and act like you were never here.”
I grin. “That bad, huh?”
“Parker and Charlie are at it again.” She comes to a stop at the base of the steps. “You had coffee yet?”
“Yes, but I never say no to coffee.”
She grins, leading me into the kitchen. Mom’s kitchen is twice as big as mine. She’s made countless birthday cakes in here. Christmas meals. Sack lunches for school. It’s kind of sad to see her leave all that behind, but she seems excited. Who am I to rain on that parade?
More doors slam, followed by stomping. Parker appears in the kitchen, looking owlish and surprised to see me. She’s always been quiet, economizing each word as though it costs her to speak to people. Unless she’s fighting with Chuck. Then she lets loose like a howler monkey.
I grin at her. “Hey.”
She tucks her hair behind her ears. “Hey.”
“You ladies need to try to act civilized when the guys get over here.”
Charlie isn’t far behind. “Your loser friends are coming over?”
“My loser friends are coming over to lift the heavy shit. Unless you ladies are volunteering?”
Charlie gets a faraway look in her eyes. My brows lower. I point at her. “No.”