Page 84 of This Broken Heart
“Yeah. And he’s going to realize he’s missing something important. Even so, I don’t think it would do him any good to misunderstand our relationship. Building up expectations around the two of us.”
“I don’t want him to get hurt, either.” I say. It’s painful to admit it, but this has always been the inevitable outcome. “We should stop.”
His gaze jerks over to me. “That’s not at all what I was getting at.”
“It’s not?”
He’s so tall. And sexy as fuck. Sometimes, it’s hard to look at him, because I start feeling agonizingly bashful. He’s studying my face and all I want to do is hide, but I force myself to hold his gaze.
He looks away, suddenly very interested in the clouds sailing overhead. “I almost told your ex that I was your boyfriend.”
I laugh. “You should have. His reaction would have been priceless.”
“I wanted to. But I wasn’t sure how you would feel about it.” He pauses, fiddling with his coffee mug. “Aw, hell, Erin. I’m not good at saying how I feel. But I guess the point is, I want to be that person for you. I don’t want anyone else to know you the way I do. The idea of you being with one of my friends, or anyone else, makes me want to pull my hair out.”
“I’m not interested in them.” I wait until he’s looking at me. “I’m just interested in you.”
A smile tugs at his lips. “Yeah?”
I laugh, despite myself. “Yes.”
His smile fades. “I guess it’s probably obvious, but I’m damaged goods.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Well, it’s true. I don’t know how to do this. Or if I’m even capable.”
He’s warning me right out of the gate. He’s telling me I’ll never claim his whole heart.
Breaking up with Matt was hard, but being with Josh is showing me how love should feel. It makes me realize that what I had with Matt might have been a convenience and comfort thing.
This thing between Josh and me, it’s taking me higher than I ever thought possible.
Something tells me the fall from these heights would shatter me.
If I was smart, I’d run the other way.
So, what’s with the damn butterflies?
He meets my gaze. “It’s not much of an offer.”
I smile. “You’ve got to work on your sales pitch. But I guess… I want to see what happens next.”
“Me too.”
“How do we navigate that without the kids getting caught up in it?”
“Think we can keep it under wraps while we figure things out?”
An uneasy feeling settles in my stomach. “From everyone?”
He tips his head. “You’ve met my family. And my friends. They have no filter. If they knew… I just don’t want to put the two of us under a microscope.”
I expected him to say he wanted to keep it a secret from the kids—saying he wants to keep it a secret from everyone else comes as a surprise.
It makes sense. His family does take an almost proprietorial interest in Josh’s well-being.
I can understand where he’s coming from.