Page 11 of Love is So Mean
There I finally told her.
“Wait, what? I am so sorry to hear that. How are you coping with the news? Any emotions towards it?”
“No, not really. Everyone dies, my time is just sooner rather than later. I just have one dilemma.”
“What’s that?”
“I need to produce an heir before I’m gone.”
“What does your doctor say about this?”
“She says if I want to have a baby, it needs to be soon enough.”
“A baby? Yasmeena, can we take a step back? You just found out you have ovarian cancer.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes, so let’s process that, what does that make you want to do?”
“To be proactive and have this baby right away.”
“What happens if you can’t?”
“Then I can’t. I’ll probably be dead by then, anyways.”
“Yasmeena, we need to approach this differently in terms of how you’re feeling. I know it’s hard to associate with it and that you’re detached from it all but let’s just take a moment. A quiet moment to reflect.”
“Okay.”
After a quiet moment, I still don’t feel anything.
“How do we want to approach this in our next meeting?”
“We can discuss if any diagnosis I have can be passed down to my baby or we can figure out other options.”
“Like if you don’t decide to have a baby?”
“I am having that baby. This isn’t an option.”
“Okay, Yasmeena. Please think over everything and jot down things in your journal and we can talk some more in our meeting.”
“Okay.”
Enrique and I haven’t exchanged words throughout the rest of the week which is fine. He needs his time and I need to assess what my options are after this. The prospect list isn’t very long because a lot of men don’t check out.
Enrique is my top pick and most likely the only pick. I trust that he can manage this company and make it better once I’m gone.
Stage one ovarian cancer doesn’t really seem bad on paper but over the week, the fatigue has set in and I’ve found myself waking up in random parts of my home, hell I’ve even got a bruise on the side of my head to prove it. Hence, why I’ve been wearing my hair down over the week to cover it up. The pain in my lower abdomen has been brutal lately but I take some medication for it. My OBGYN prescribed me some pain killers since I told her no for the surgery. The only thing that was done was the pelvic exam which was enough to determine.
If untreated for a year, the percentage drops and with the way my pain is going, I don’t know what it’ll be like in a year but to have a baby, I can take it. It’s just pain.
My eye twitches from the pain as I stand talking to everyone at the Spa relaunching. My eyes shut for a second but I open them back up again, shaking away the dizziness. This isn’t the time to faint.
Matthew is right next to me as we continue talking to everyone who is attending.
“Yasmeena, do you need water or anything?” He asks.
“No, no, I’m fine. I have my water bottle right here. I’m just tired.”