Page 12 of Love is So Mean
Matthew gives me a once over but says nothing else.
My eyes wander the room to distract myself from the pang that is coming from my abdomen. I didn’t want to take the painkillers just in case I was going to drink. I grimace but I fix my expression as my eyes land on Enrique. He’s looking at me but I can’t read him like I usually can. He’s not really that much of a stoic man so I usually know if he’s annoyed with me or frustrated.
His fiancée says something to him which pulls a smile out of him but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He looks away from me and talks to her.See, he is going to be an attentive dad. I just know it.
I can’t leave my baby with my family, they’re not good people.
My dizziness strikes again along with the pain and it causes me to take a step back. Clearing my throat, I look at the people speaking and none of them notice.
“Matthew, I will be right back. I have a headache and I’m going to my room to grab medication.”
“Okay.”
My vision is getting blurry as I hold my head up high and walk without making it known that I’m really to topple over and drop. The elevator taking its time makes me lean against the wall of the empty hall and I step in. I can’t focus as I press the button to my room and finally when I get to the floor, I notice a couple, they greet me and I them but I don’t know what they’re talking about.
Quickly but efficiently, I make it to my room door but my hands are shaky as the pain causes my knees to go weak. I lay my head against the door, dropping my water bottle as I insert the key. I open and push my door, walking on pure memory of the room. I reach the little kitchen area and drop things trying to grab the medication. The bottle makes a sound as I begin to grab it but my eyesight fades to black and I know I’m down before I can do anything about it.
Chapter 8
Enrique
It has been a rough, sleepless week for me fraught with indecision. There were times I thought I knew the answer was no and it only made sense to turn her down; I’ve already planned my future with my love, Emily, and that was final. Yet, each morning, I’d get to the office with certainty set in my bones just for it to fly out of the window when I’d see Yasmeena.
Why was it hard to say no?
Every time I tried to approach her with it, the other set of questions would swirl in my head. Exactly how long is this prospect list? Is there even a list or would I be the asshole to let her die childless? Is it a bad business decision to pass on what she’s offering me? We work together a lot but this deal guarantees that I’d be in charge if something went south with her health. I know I’m not the type of person to take advantage of her illness but would the next guy be trustworthy?
Was she interviewing prospects during the lunch she canceled with me? Even with problems she gives me with her nonchalant attitude, the main question that was stopping me from turning her down is still the loudest.Who’s going to take care of her?
If her dad tried, would she let him help when the time came? If I don’t marry her and have undeniable custody of said child who will take care of it? I cannot pretend to know anything about her life but I cannot say that I’ve ever met a friend.
Speaking of her family, I already don’t like them. Aside from her cancer diagnosis, there was something else listed in her medical chart. A condition Reactive Attachment Disorder, a quick Google search gave me all the information I don’t want and needed to have a slightly better understanding. The definition of Yasmeena's disorder is still embroidered in my head:Reactive attachment disorder (RAD) is a rare but serious condition that affects children's ability to form healthy emotional attachments with their caregivers. It's often caused by emotional neglect or abuse during early childhood, when a child's basic needs for comfort, affection, and nurturing aren't met.
It wasn’t easy turning her down but I saw no other outcome if I wanted to keep my relationship with Emily strong. My nerves were shot this morning when I delivered the news. Yasmeena, however, nodded, thanked me for my consideration, and then asked about my progress on the last minute items on her list. I opted to chalk her lack of reaction up to her condition but it was still surprisingly free of emotion.
The spa relaunch was a much needed distraction. I had to make other on the spot financial decisions that got me through the rest of the week. It was easier to keep myself occupied during prep, but all my worries have returned now that we’re at the event. I’m still uneasy and not feeling the peace I should be feeling from putting an issue behind me.
No matter now pretty my love looks in her floral mid-thigh sundress with her hair flowing in the gentle breeze, I can’t seem to hear what the fuck she’s saying. The hotel is beautiful and I have the woman I’ve stayed true to by my side but this feels likeanything but a vacation. I take a sip of my cocktail since alcohol has been my ever present best friend all week. I don’t really taste it or need a buzz, it’s just an easy way to scan the people without being obvious.
I don’t realize that I’m looking for Yasmeena until I see her. Instantly, I know something isn’t right. She’s at least three shades paler than usual and her slightly furrowed eyebrows mars the stoic mask she usually wears. I try to attribute my observation to the sun reflecting off of her soft blue business skirt set but I was never good at lying to myself. The slight grimace that I’ve seen only one time before plays out on her face until she realizes that I’m looking at her. Is it my refusal to marry her and father her child or the cancer causing her pain? What if it’s both?
We look at each other for a beat until Emily says something. Forcing a smile, I move my attention to her.
“Sorry, what?”
“I said maybe after we enjoy the spa services, we can make love under the stars.”
My attention started to wander back to Yasmeena after Emily saidspa servicesI’d be lying to say I heard the rest. Her pale appearance is alarming; I need to verify if she’s okay. I look up in time to see her take a wobbly step in the opposite direction while Matthew is busy working on his iPad.
Why did she wear fucking stilettos if she knew she wasn’t well?
I pat Emily on the hand as I move away from her. “Sounds nice, dear. Call a friend to do all of that with you.”
Emily seems offended by something but I’ll have to figure that out later. Right now, I need to check on my crazy boss.
I make it inside in time to see her push herself off the wall and stumble onto the elevator. It gives me an uneasy feeling and quickly reminds me of my concerns for her care. I call out hername but she doesn’t appear to hear me and the doors close before I can make it.
Impatiently pressing the up button doesn’t call an elevator fast enough for me. I’d take the stairs but the keycard won’t work on the executive floor. When the other elevator finally arrives, I jump on and hit the close button before anyone can catch a ride.