Page 22 of Love is So Mean
Instead of answering me, Emily pivots and storms out of the room. Hopefully while she’s away she’ll realize that I brought her with me because I want her here, not to make her suspicious.
It feels like I’m failing on all fronts and I hate the feeling. Emily has become more and more suspicious as this weekend drags on and there isn’t much I can do to dispel her fears. They’re not one-hundred percent misplaced, she’s just jumping to the wrong conclusions about the purpose of my actions. I have not strayed in the entire time we’ve been together nor have I considered it. I devoted myself to Emily unwaveringly.
What Yasmeena is asking is not based of sex or romantic notions of being with me. It’s transactional.
Emily returned in time to be ready for the gala but didn’t put any immediate effort into getting ready. When she finally started, it took her longer than usual. She has yet to come back out of the bathroom. Luckily, I had showered while she was away and my tux is hanging in the room.
All the free time just gives me more time to think. Our situation weighs heavily on me. It may not be in the way Emily is imagining it, but Yasmeena-on some level-is trying to poach her man. It is impossible for me to secretly marry and impregnate Yasmeena-no matter the means-without betraying Emily, yet my fear that I was her only prospect for this crazy scheme has turned my refusal into a maybe.
I’ve noticed her beauty before and it’s never been an issue in four years because no one wants every attractive person in theworld. People notice attractive people everyday and go on with their lives. That’s exactly what I did a long time ago. Hell, I was single when I started working for Yasmeena and being with her hadn’t crossed my mind. I was laser focused on my career instead of whether or not I thought my boss was attractive. Her request is blurring what used to clear, defined lines. Considering her offer forces me to see her in that light.
I was smitten with Emily at first sight and have been devoted ever since. No one has ever affected me the way Emily had at first sight. That hasn’t changed. I haven’t been remotely close to cheating on her but her faith in me is waning. The only thing I’ve done near betrayal was consider an offer. COO is something I’ve been striving for since I graduated from college but do I want to earn it like this? The title is right there for the taking only if I do what is asked of me. I’d have to sacrifice love for my career.
Ultimately, however, my consideration isn’t based on sex, money, or the title Yasmeena is dangling in front of me; it’s the diagnosis. Her parents are trash from the sound of it and I have to assume her brother isn’t much better. As someone who comes from a much warmer family, it’s a hard concept to accept.
I believe her request is as straightforward as it can be since her feelings appear to be equivalent to a robot. Nothing in her demeanor says that she’s jealous that I’m engaged and wants to sabotage my relationship. No one would believe me if I said that though.
I’ve argued with Yasmeena in the past which is why Bailey alluded to it being a common thing but our arguments are different now. They’re no longer about Yasmeena questioning my knowledge at work, they’re about me questioning her decisions for her health.
Emily finally comes out of the bathroom just after her shower still wearing her towel. We’re supposed to be heading down to the wrap up party right now but she’s taking her sweet time.Part of me thinks she’s trying to test my loyalty to my job versus my loyalty to her with this stunt. They are on two different spectrums. If anyone knows that I’m serious about punctuality, it’s her.
Her body language still displays the attitude she’s had all weekend. She’s reading my concern for Yasmeena’s health as something more scandalous.
“I thought you would have run off to be withYasmeenaby now.”
The way Emily has been saying Yasmeena’s name grates my nerves on so many levels. One, it’s childish. Two, I’d rather her be jealous for a good reason. Three, I’ve never given her a reason to be so distrustful but she’s doing it so easily.
“If you mean because she’s my boss and has expectations for heremployeesto be at a certain place at certain times then, yes, I considered leaving to beon time.”
“I’m sure that’s all it is,” she gripes as she dries off her body.
“Emily,” I say slowly. “We’ve been through this already. I’ve been working for her longer than we’ve been together. Why are you suddenly questioning everything I do?”
“I have eyes. I see the way you look at her. Talk to her!” There it is again. She doesn’t recognize that I’m concerned about Yasmeena’s health and I can’t disclose that information. “And every time I ask you a question, you say you can’t discuss it.”
“Again. Yasmeena is my boss. This is a work function. You’re not an employee. There are certain confidences I have to uphold. I am not just some random person at our tech bar. I’m the CFO of the entire company, Emily. Yasmeena’s lawyers have lawyers. When I say I can’t discuss it, you have to trust and accept it.”
I move closer since it’s better to diffuse the situation than continue to argue the same point. We’ve argued more this weekend than we have the entire three year span of our relationship.
“Emily, baby. I’m with you. I love you.” I grab her left hand and kiss her finger just above her engagement ring. “I proposed to you.”
Emily’s tan cheeks redden just a little. “After you said her name.”
My expression doesn’t change because I anticipated Emily pointing that out. I’m sure if I wouldn’t have fucked up so royally, Emily would have been more relaxed this weekend. “As I told you, it was a surprise utterance. She was the last person I expected to see when I looked up. I bought the ring and planned the engagement for you. No one else.”
I give her a soft kiss, I just want it to go back to the way it was before she got suspicious. I had plans for us to simply enjoy each other’s company and bodies but Emily has been holding everything I say or do against me the entire weekend.
Giving in, she wraps her arms around my neck, kissing me with the kind of passion I’ve been craving from her. If for a moment, we can put all of our issues on the backburner, I’m willing to do just that.
I hold her closely and walk her back, pushing her against the counter. I grip her ass as I pick her up. Emily’s moan goes straight to my dick. The urgency I feel to be inside her is heightened by our lack of connection all weekend and minimal time together.
She must feel it too, I groan when she grabs my erection. The amazing sensation of her thumb teasing my tip almost makes me opt to forego the condom but I’m not built that way.
“Condom,” I rasp as I let go of her only for a brief moment.
Emily and I are consistent with condom usage and I’ve been even more diligent about using them since she doesn’t want children. I never want to put her in the place where she’d have to make that kind of choice.
Also, my desire to use one right now would have added to her suspicions we don’t need. I would never have sex with another woman while being committed to Emily. I have the condom in place and I’m inside of her in seconds. We moan in unison because it’s always good with us.