Page 37 of Love is So Mean
Me: when is it?
Amir: should I go through your secretary for everything?
Me: you don’t contact my employees. They do not work for you.
My cell rings and I roll my eyes leaving it on the bed. It’s Amir, I don’t want to deal with him right now. I need to see my doctor and see if something else is happening, luckily, this exhaustion bullshit falls on the same day as my appointment to pick up the chemo drugs since I do not want a single thing to do with surgery right now.
After my shower, as I apply lotion to my body, the light on my family heirloom’s vined emerald gold ring shines bright making me remember again that I had done it. That I had gotten married and I was one step closer to having my baby. I don’t care whether it’s a boy or girl, I’ll just be content with being able to hold my baby in my arms, it doesn't matter if it’s a few months or years.
Slipping on a robe, I walk out and head downstairs to my office. When I make it in, Josh has the hot tea and fruits waiting on my desk for me. He’s always on time because the tea is hot as the steam lifts, disappearing into thin air.
I do what I’ve come to enjoy now more than ever. I pull out a journal that Janae suggested I have. A journal to my baby. She says it’s healthy especially because I want to get pregnant and don’t know if I’ll survive it all or be alive long enough to tell him or her why someone should buy or receive a corsage for their date. After journaling how I’m so close to getting pregnant with them, I write about the things I’m going to be doing today and how different it is from when I was a child. I don’t include cruel or mean things because I know that’s something no child wants to be exposed to.
I power up my laptop and look over those messages but my phone begins ringing again. It’s Amir, he must’ve really done something shitty at the company for him to want me to go there so I can be a punching bag.
Ignoring him again, I leave my office after I successfully finish the fruit on my desk and bring my tea to my room, setting it on my neutral vanity. Like everything else in my house, it’s all neutral colors and minimalistic.
Without thinking about what my brother would bother me with, I do my makeup and hair, placing it in the high braided ponytail that I usually wear for work. I put on my outfit right after; a long black mesh pleated dress and a black blazer on top with black stilettos to complete it.
I head downstairs and leave a note for the Chef to make whatever breakfast Enrique wants. I leave heading to my doctor’s office.
“Okay, how are you feeling and dealing with the pain killers?” Katherine asks me.
I smooth my already smoothed hair and let a shaky breath out.
“It’s fine. They’re not too bad but my appetite is worse but I still have fruits and tea in the mornings. I try to have a light lunch and very light dinner, if I can.”
“Okay, that’s a good effort, now can we talk about the new chemo drugs and the side effects.”
“Sure.”
Katherine listed off the many things but the only thing I heard was fertility problems. I take a deep breath in and release it.
“So, I have to try hard as this medicine destroys the cancerous cells.”
“Sure but I need you to listen to me, Yasmeena. Every single case is different, every person is different when it comes to thesedrugs. Do you have someone with you? I’d like someone like your family member or someone you trust to come here so we can discuss things. It doesn’t have to be today because that’s too last minute, bu?—.”
“I can…I’ll call my part—, husband.” It’s foreign to say but I say it so that I can get used to it.
“You have a husband?” Katherine asks. “And you didn’t invite me to the wedding?”
She’s a friend as much as Matthew is.
Ignoring her question, I dial Enrique.
“Yeah?” Enrique answers.
“I need you to meet me at the doctor’s office. I’ll send you the address. Before you ask, I’m fine. It’s an appointment but she’d like to talk to more than just me.”
I hang up because there’s no point in talking after.
Katherine and I wait until Enrique walks into her office, she has my appointments much earlier than her work days because I want to keep this quiet. I don’t want anyone feeding anything to the media.
“Katherine, this is my husband, Enrique, Enrique, this is Katherine, my doctor.”
“Hello, I’m Enrique.”
“Hi, Enrique, Katherine.” She says and gets right to business letting him know what she told me. I zone out, not listening until I hear her speaking about the stage of my cancer. “So as I told Yasmeena, she’s at stage 1A, which means that the Ovarian cancer cells are in one ovary but since we’ve discussed with her that surgery is a no, I have prescribed the painkillers and now, the chemo drugs. There are side effects that I want both of you to be aware of with the chemo drugs, especially fertility problems.”