Page 38 of Love is So Mean
I cut her off because I don’t care about the other side effects. “But I can get pregnant?”
“Yes, you can.”
“Okay, that’s all that matters.”
“How long does it take for symptoms to appear? What kind of problems?”
“For fertility problems, it could be temporary or permanent infertility. As for symptoms, everyone is different. They can show up quickly or some may not. All the side effects may not ever make an appearance. These are things to pay attention to and if they do occur, contact me immediately or come see me. Yasmeena knows that I would open up the clinic earlier for her, if need be.”
“When I get pregnant, how long until I can be on the chemo drugs again?” I ask and I can see Enrique glaring at me but I need to know.
“After the first trimester, it is safe for you to take the drugs again. If and when you are pregnant, we make sure no harm comes to the fetus with any drugs.”
“But what are the most common ‘call me immediately’ symptoms to look out for?”
“Vomiting, hair loss, bleeding, appetite changes, and mood changes, to name a few. A lot of the symptoms probably will never appear. Also flu-like symptoms but pay attention to severe nausea because this medication will make her feel ill but she needs to continue on taking it as instructed.”
There are no more questions as Katherine continues filling us in on everything and handing me the medication, we exit her office.
As we get on the elevator Amir calls me again. This time, I pick up or else he won’t stop calling.
“Amir?”
“I called you, how many times? Why aren’t you answering my calls?”
“It’s early and you’re calling me. What did you fuck up this time?”
“You’re being a bitch, Yasmeena. I don’t need anything from you nor did I fuck up.”
“You definitely did.”
“Just because you’re paranoid and fucking crazy, doesn’t mean the rest of us are.”
“Don’t call me crazy, Amir. You know I don’t like that.”
“It doesn’t matter. You are and you’ve always been. It doesn’t change the fact that I say it or you don’t like to be called that plus, it’s not like with your,you know,that it hurts your feelings. You’re like a fucking robot. What is it that they call you over at your company? Icy bitch?”
I blink and check my manicure. Bored already.
“Say what you want or I’m hanging up.”
“You need to come to dinner, Baba and I have this business id?—”
I hang up. I don’t want to hear any business ideas because all that means is to invest. No.
“What was that about?” Enrique asks me.
“Just family business. Nothing special.”
The rest of the elevator ride is quiet and as we exit, we go in our collective cars to work. Neither Enrique nor I have anything else to say to each other. I guess it was more of an information overload for this early in the day and there’s a thousand and one things to get done at work since I slept the afternoon and night away.
Texting Matthew to prepare all my meetings and things to do, I completely ignore the fact that Amir is calling me again. I don’t need to listen to him further insult me. Even if it doesn’t faze me, it doesn’t mean I have to listen to it.
Work is a blur for me. I think about the medication that I have to take now. I take it morning and night. Not as often which isn’t too bad but none of that is in my mind. Not until later when I know Enrique is in his room, I masturbate, getting myself wetand excited but I don’t push myself over the edge…instead, I head to Enrique.
I knock on the door before entering and he’s in bed without a shirt on. I eye him as far as his duvet lets me and then my eyes travel back to his face.
“We’re behind schedule.” I say to him as I walk over, dropping my robe and straddling him with my naked body. “I need a baby, Enrique.”