Page 34 of Daring Destiny
Uh.No. She understood what she was doing, leaving him to talk with his dad and Seamus. Sometimes men can be so fucking dense.
“Actually, she told me it was rare for you and Seamus to be the only brothers at dinner. She wanted you both to have time with your dad.” I let the words sink in for a second. “She’s perceptive, your mom.”
Brennan raises an eyebrow, surprised. “What did she say?”
“Well, she mentioned your dad’s always been close with Cillian. Told me Connor and the twins were practically grown when he had the accident. She knows you and Seamus were ‘caught in the crossfire,’ as she put it. Thought it’d be beneficial for the three of you to air things out.”
He’s quiet for a moment, processing. “Huh. I didn’t think she noticed.”
“Mothers notice everything when they’re interested.” I turn slightly in my seat to face him. “Maybe you should start focusing your stellar observation skills on your family instead of holding on to all that resentment.”
“Resentment?” Brennan gives me a sideways smirk, half-amused, half-annoyed. “Ya think?”
“I do because I live it with my own family and my mom is about the most uninterested mother on the planet. Yours is amazing.” I challenge lightly. “You seem to notice a lot about me—use those superpowers to get to learn about your parents as they are now.”
Brennan shuffles his grip on the steering wheel. “I wish it were that simple.”
I stay quiet, giving him a little space. I don’t want to push too hard. Brennan isn’t one to vomit out his feelings without processing them ad nauseum. It’s clearly been a heavy night for him.
“Well…we did talk about some heavy shit.” He speaks after a few minutes. “Ma’s dead-on. I think Seamus and I—” He stops himself.
Rather than insert myself into the narrative, I wait. Not rushing him. He sucks in a breath and blows it out slowly.
“Seamus and I confronted Dad about…well, his own drinking and how similar Cillian’s behavior is to his. We remember everything and how scary it was. Connor’s come to terms with things; the twins don’t really give him the time of day. Ironically, the only brother who hasn’t had some sort of beef with Da, is Cillian.” Brennan drums his fingers in a steady rhythm on the console—his subconscious habit when he’s deep in thought. “Jesus. Seamusreallylaid into him about Cillian.”
I tilt my head, curious. “He did? What did he say?”
“He pointed out Cillian’s heading down the same road Da did, with the drinking. Missing work and deadlines. Family dinners. Seamus delved into the medical stuff pretty deeply. Talked about how badly this is messing him up. Physically. Mentally.” I can feel the frustration radiating off him. “The thing is, we can’t blame this behavior on his breakup. He was heading down that path a long time before he met her. It’s fucking hereditary. He needs help.”
I nod slowly, letting the weight of his words settle between us. “You can’t force Cillian to get help or listen to any of you.Trust.”
“Yeah.” Brennan’s voice catches. “Da didn’t want to hear it. He was so defensive. It’s like he doesn’t want to admit how all of us were affected by what he put us through. He’s sober now. Repentant. Sorry and whatever. He’s Irish, though. Doesn’t believe in counseling. Or therapy. It’s been a long time and we’re still dealing with the fallout.”
I place my hand on his arm. “None of this is easy to face. For any of you.”
“I’m sorry you got dragged into it. I brought you over for dinner because I hoped you could meet Cillian.” He turns onto my street. “I’m such a shit brother. When I get absorbed at work, sometimes weeks go by and I don’t even realize it. We haven’t hung out in months when we used to do everything together. I want to be there for him.”
There’s a heaviness lingering in the car now. The kind that’s attributable to a deep conversation about family. Through every pore of my body I sense his frustration. Feel his fear. See how much self-imposed responsibility he puts on himself to take care of his grown-ass brothers.
I understand it, because I’ve lived it.
There’s nothing he can do to change it.
We pull up to my slip and the soft glow of the exterior lights on my houseboat reflect off the water. Brennan puts the car in park but doesn’t make a move to get out. I unbuckle my seatbelt and sit back, watching him. He stares out the windshield, lost in thought.
“I’m going to tell you the truth and you’re not going to like it.” I face him and rest my hand on his thigh. “You’re not responsible for Cillian. I know youfeellike you are, but he’s an adult. He has to recognize his problem and want to get better.”
Brennan runs a hand through his hair, clearly torn. “I know, but it’s not easy to watch.”
“You can’t fix everything, Brennan. Not your dad, not your brothers.” I stroke his thigh. “Your focus needs to be on yourself while you’re in this transaction, otherwise the worry’s going to break you.”
His eyes bore into mine. “It already feels like I’m breaking.”
My heart clenches at the helplessness in his voice. For all his strength and intelligence, Brennan has too much on his plate.
We sit for a moment, just breathing. The lights of the city and the sloshing of the lake water surround us. My plan, before everything happened at dinner, was to come back here, fuck my man all night and maybe have a chat in the morning about how we make things official.
It’s not the time, though.