Page 35 of Daring Destiny
Last night I was in a state of despair and he took care of me. It led to hours upon hours of the best sex of my life—and his, so he says.But…and thereisa huge but. Our timing is fucking awful. I can’t—and won’t—add to his stress.
I’m crazy about Brennan and I think he feels the same way. We need to let this new phase of our friendship percolate without pressure.
“Look.” I reach up and stroke his cheek. “Last night was special. Intense. Beautiful. But, I think you and I both know we’re not ready to take the next step.”
His face falls, confused. “What? No! I thought… Um, you don’t want to see me anymore?”
“No!” I shake my head vigorously. Then swallow, trying to find the words. “I mean, this,” I gesture between us, “is worth protecting. You’re already stressed about work and your family, I’m not about to add labels on our relationship to put obligations to me on your plate.”
He stares at me for a moment. Nods slowly like he thinks I’m letting him down easy. “Okay. I know I suck at all the boyfriend things, but damn.”
“Brennan. Please don’t misunderstand. I’m not saying I don’t want us to pursue things romantically,” I quickly clarify. “Ido. But we both have a lot going on and how we are together makes me happy. Just because we’ve had sex shouldn’t change anything.”
He nods again, this time definitively. “Okay, we can go that route. For clarity, though, I want to have alotof sex with you.”
Brennan leans in slowly, his hand cups the side of my face and his thumb brushes my cheek, sending warmth straight through me. His lips meet mine softly. Tentatively. Testing the waters. Then the kiss deepens. Grows sure and confident. There’s a quiet passion, a promise that lingers in the way his mouth moves against mine. Slow. Deliberate. As if he’s savoring this moment but also promising our story is only beginning.
When he pulls back, his forehead rests against mine. I can still feel the heat of his lips. The silence between us isn’t uncomfortable. If anything, it feels like a necessary pause—like we’re both on board to step back and take stock of where we are and what’s happening between us.
“I’m going to head inside.” I reach for the door handle. “Thank you for tonight. For bringing me to meet your family. I know there were some tough conversations but I love all of them. They’re so different from my people.”
He watches me, his expression softening. “Thank you for coming. I didn’t expect it to go pear shaped, but I’m glad you were there.”
“Me too.” I lean over and give him another quick kiss.
We exchange a look and before either of us articulate the unsaid words hanging between us, I step out into salty night air. The familiar sound of water lapping against the dock comforts me as I make my way up the dock to the houseboat. When I reach my front door, I turn back to see Brennan still sitting in the car, watching me until I’ve unlocked it.
I wave and he lifts a hand in return. A small smile tugs at his lips. I step inside and his car pulls away, leaving me standing in the glow of the deck lights, wondering if I made the correct decision.
Moments later, I sink down onto the couch and stare out at the lake. Grateful for a moment of solitude to reflect on the past twenty-four hours. A sense of comfort settles over me.
It’s been a lot. More than I expected.
Not quite enough.
In a strange way, for the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m moving forward.
Even if it means giving myself time to breathe.
fourteen
Brennan
Seven Months Later
I’mastupid,stupidman.
How in fuck have I let this much time go by without seeing her?
Astrid struts toward where I’m waiting for her in the small terminal at San Jose airport. Even from across the room, she looks like she belongs in a film—effortless, beautiful. She hasn’t seen me yet, giving me a second to take her in.
She’s wearing slim-cut, plaid capri pants with a white tank top showing off her shoulders. Her hair is loose around her shoulders and she wears white-rimmed sunglasses giving her an old-Hollywood look. Almost like she’s about to slide into the driver’s seat of a vintage convertible.
I can’t help but suppress a grin.
She spots me and her face breaks into a smile that lights her up from the inside. I’m done for. Months of sporadic texting, video calls, and phone conversations have kept our situationship alive, but seeing her in person after all these months.Gah.
Sure, our schedules have been entirely at odds, but I’m never letting this much time go by again. No fucking way.