Page 86 of Daring Destiny

“I need to go,” I manage, knowing my words land heavy in the room.

Maureen’s eyes flick to Brennan, who stands behind me shellshocked. She looks back at me. I can tell she wants to say something, anything, to help. But she doesn’t.

Cillian glances between Brennan and me, clearly worried about his brother. Seamus shifts in his seat awkwardly, his mouth half-open like he’s about to speak, but he closes it again, probably realizing there’s nothing he can say that won’t make the situation worse. Even Rory, who usually can’t keep his thoughts to himself, stares straight ahead. His expression is a mix of shock and sympathy.

Maureen is the one who eventually speaks. “Oh, sweetheart, are you alright? Can I do anything?”

“No.” I shake my head. “Thank you for a lovely meal. I’m sorry it came to this but I need to go home.”

I make it to the door and step outside, shutting it behind me. Thank God I’m the one who drove tonight.

As I get into the driver’s seat, I hear Brennan calling my name, but I don’t turn back. I need to get out of here, away from all of them, before I fall apart.

I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know what to think.

Everything I thought I understood about Brennan, about us, has just been turned upside down.

We’re not coming back from this.

thirty-six

Brennan

Present Day

Pregnant.

I can barely process what Astrid has just told me. Or the kiss she instigated.

My heart is pounding so hard it feels like it’s echoing off the brick walls of the cafeteria where our classmates are engaging with Reuniverse.

All I can hear is the word “pregnant” hanging in the air between us like a bombshell.

Astrid stares at me, her eyes wide and guarded, like she’s bracing for my reaction, but I’m frozen, my mind running a thousand miles an hour and not moving at all. It’s like I’ve stepped out of my body, watching us from above.

Two people whose relationship blew up as we were planning our happily ever after, standing here. Alone on the lawn. My world has shifted under my feet.

The past few weeks have felt like I’ve been living in some kind of nightmare. At first, I couldn’t help myself. I stalked Astrid at the houseboat, waited there for hours. Paced around the deck. Stared out at the water. Prayed she’d come home and we could talk.

She never showed.

I tried calling, texting, emailing—anything to get through to her, but every time, it was like hitting a brick wall. She wouldn’t answer. Wouldn’t give me the chance to apologize or explain. I drove around the city like a lunatic. Tried to figure out where she was having a showing. Hoping I’d find her car parked outside The Zoo.

It was a long shot, of course. Seattle’s a big city, and I was just one guy yearning for a miracle.

I know I screwed up. I’ve been desperate to make it up to her, but she shut me out. Definitively. I’ve been losing my mind over it.

Being without her is the most painful experience in my life.

At some point, I ended up at Cillian’s place. I poured out my heart. Detailed the mess I’d made. I didn’t realize how badly I needed a sounding board and Kill is my best friend in the world.

He told me, “You did screw up, Bren. But don’t think for a second this is the end. You’re not a quitter. Turn your ability to focus on winning her back and you can’t go wrong, even if you have to do it one step at a time.”

When I lamented she wouldn’t give me a chance, wouldn’t listen, he set me straight.

“Then youmakeher listen,” he advised like it was the simplest thing in the world. “I’m not saying force your way back in, but don’t you dare throw in the towel. She’s scared and she’s hurt, but she’s notgone. Show heryou’renot going anywhere.”