Page 57 of Strawberry Cake
Hope laughed, the sound warming his veins. “Yes, but if I were to say… buy you a gift because you deserve it, that would come from my account too. I’m pretty sure there is more to that, but that’s a basic idea that I liked.”
“It sounds plausible.”
“Would you want a prenup? I mean your family has money, right? Is that something they’d want?”
“I don’t know how I’d feel about that,” Decan confessed. “I’ve never thought about it.”
“Maybe that can be something for a future list.”
He looked back down and read the next question. “How can I help you when you’re stressed?”
“Oh, I liked that one. I’m such a mood-pleaser if that is even a term. Sometimes I just need space and someone to throw snacks at me from a safe distance. Other times, I just need someone to hold and listen to what I have to say. I don’t always need advice, just someone to vent to.”
“I’ll make sure to have an emergency snack stash,” he chuckled. “I often just need space, or distraction. The gym helps me deal with shit and Marco’s gotten really good at reading my moods. Sometimes I go for fun, but then when I’m going through a bad phase, the pain helps me distract myself from my own head.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Next question?” When Hope nodded, he read it out loud. “Do you want children and what would we do if we struggle to get pregnant?”
“I had to think about this one for a long while.” Hope shrugged. “I still don’t have a clear answer. Kids are precious but at the same time, they’re a huge responsibility. I think for now, I’m happy with not having any.”
“Are you open to them later on?”
“Yes, if my partner is too. I don’t wanna do it alone.”
Decan sighed, and tried to find the right words to voice his opinions. “I used to want children, at least one, but now I’m terrified of it. I struggled to take care of myself for so long, that the thought of taking care of a child terrifies me.”
“Well, look at it like this: we’ll save a lot of money on strollers.”
Decan looked over to see her smiling at him. “I love how openly you deal with the whole wheelchair thing. Some would’ve been afraid to hurt my feelings to say something like that.”
“Did I?” she asked, worry filtering through her tone.
“No, you actually painted a really sweet picture.”
“So, babies are a possibility if the circumstances are right.”
“Do you want to talk about your expectations around childcare and parenting? You said that you don’t want to do it alone.”
“I don’t. I think if we were to have a child, we would share the responsibility. I also don’t see myself as a housewife in any sense. I would be willing to stay home for a little while, but I don’t want to give up work permanently.”
“I think the thought of staying home alone terrifies me because I’m afraid of not being able to care for them,” he confessed. “But I do believe parenting should be a joint effort, same with household chores. Just because one stays home to take care of the children doesn’t mean the other gets away with not helping around the house.”
“I think you would do wonderfully.” Hope leaned over and kissed his cheek. “I think the fear of not being able to be a good father will make you a perfect one.”
Decan took a moment, letting her words soothe his soul. “How much alone time do you need?”
“I think I mentioned before how I enjoy being alone right now after living with roommates, but I think it would be different if we lived together. What I would need really depends on my mood.”
“I think it’s important to do things without each other. You still want to be your own person while still being in a relationship, and I don’t want to lose myself in the partnership.”
“I agree. I also wouldn’t want to be questioned every time I decide to go to the store alone or simply want to go for a walk.” She started fidgeting with her jumpsuit again. “I mean, obviously we’d communicate, but space is important.”
“There is a thin line and if it’s balanced well, it doesn’t make the other feel controlled.”
“That’s exactly it.”
“How do we deal with our in-laws?” he asked, moving to the next question.