Page 97 of Reckless Love
She reaches over and grabs her phone and sets it on the counter, pointing at the screen.
I move toward it and pick it up. My mouth parts and I gasp. It’s the message I sent back earlier. She points at the email address it came from at the top. My personal iCloud email.Noooo.
My eyes flick to her and she stands there with her hands on her hips.
“Care to explain why your email address is at the top of this message from Zoey Archer?”
“I—Calista?—”
“AreyouZoey Archer?”
I swallow hard and feel the blood rush from my face before I nod slowly.
Her eyes narrow. “I want to be mad at you for all the times I gushed over this book. We even talked about the Rhodes and Elle vibes it was giving us and you never said a word! I can’t believe you! How could you not tell me?”
“I know and I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to keep it from you. I just thought it was the best way to…I never wanted myparents or anyone to find out it was me. You’re the only one who knows.”
“Girl. I am so fucking proud of you,” she yells.
I jump, caught so completely off-guard.
She wraps her arms around me and dances me all over the shop. We’re both laughing by the time I stop stumbling and catch up with her. I’m winded when we stop and lean against the counter, catching our breath. She looks at me and every time she starts to say something, she laughs. It happens so much that we laugh until tears are rolling down our faces.
“It was right there in front of me,” she wheezes. “Ryder and Eliza.”
I wipe my face. “I didn’t think anyone would ever read my book and it’s just?—”
“Exploded,” she finishes.
“Yeah. It’s been so unbelievable, Calista. I pinch myself every day. But,” I look at her, eyes huge, “I had no idea this would happen. Can you imagine if my parents found out?”
She shoots me a look. “No, I cannot. But…” She nudges me with her shoulder. “What if they did? What’s the worst that could happen? You’re an adult, Elle. You’ve branched out this year, cheering for the Mustangs when you knew they wouldn’t approve. Maybe it’s time you step into this and shine.”
“I couldn’t. For one thing, I don’t know if I’d be able to write the same way, knowing they could be reading. Not just them, but all the people at church.”
She laughs. “I’m just remembering all the people from church I’ve seen buying your book. The McDonald twins cannot stop talking about it.”
I clasp my heart. “They’reseventeen.” I put my head in my hands and groan. “No. See? I can’t do it. This is a smalltown and I’m already stoking the fire with going out scantily clad and dancing my booty off. My parents would be so ashamed.”
“Then let them be ashamed. That’s on them, not you. You’ve written a beautiful book. Your parents should be so proud.I’mso proud.” She hugs me again. “So, so proud.” Then she pokes me in the side and I startle, too ticklish. “I still can’t believe you let me go on and on about this book and never said a word.”
“I’m so glad you’re not mad at me. I was ready to do penance forever after that look on your face.”
“Oh, you’re still not off the hook, Miss Zoey Archer.” She laughs. “You are so talented, Elle. Like, I’m seriously in awe of your words.” Her face softens. “And girl, you have got it so bad for Rhodes. I mean, Iknew, even though you tried to deny it all this time…can we just talk about the way you think you have to hideanythingfrom me? Do you not know that I am on your side no matter what? So are Sadie and Tru, for that matter. Weloveyou.”
My lips tremble and the tears are falling again. “I think I’ve been conditioned to hide. For a long time there was also the conflict with what do I really believe? But once I got peace about that, there were all of the external concerns. All the rules, all the fear, all the hoping that I don’t hurt anyone or disappoint anyone…or send them running. Now, even the things that I don’t want to hide are hard to let out.”
“It’s not easy being a pastor’s kid. You’ve had so much pressure on you your whole life. Growing up, you lived in a fishbowl.”
“I want to be honest,” I say. “I don’t like duping everyone or being anything less than authentic.”
“You’re the most authentic person I know, even with all your secrets,” she adds.
“You and Rhodes know me better than anyone…”
“And we’re not going anywhere,” she says. She leans in, her hands on my shoulders. “Start by telling Rhodes how you really feel. None of this fake dating bullshit. Tell him about Zoey Archer, so you don’t have to carry that alone anymore. And please, please, tell Sadie and Tru…and Stephanie! Their lives will be complete like mine is, knowing it’syouwho wrote our favorite book.”
I groan. “I don’t know. My life feels like a Jenga game just as everything is about to topple over.”