Page 98 of Reckless Love

“So get ahead of it. Do like my aunt says and take your life by the horns and drive that ship.”

“Ahh, mixing the idioms. I like it.”

“You are such a writer nerd. Anauthornerd. I freaking love it.” Calista laughs and I’m able to smile back as I wipe the rest of the tears from my face.

“I wish I was abraveauthor nerd and could tell Rhodes I’ve always been in love with him, but I’m not there yet.”

“Well, I’ll be here if the blocks start to crumble.”

I hug her again and take a deep breath. “I have a feeling I will need to collect on that.” I pull back and tell her I love her, just as my phone buzzes.

Calista hands it to me and I hear her laugh and mutter, “You’ve got itsobad,” as I read the text.

Rhodes

I can’t wait to get home to you, Elle love.

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

CONFESSIONAL BOOTH

RHODES

Then

I wasn’tproud of the man I’d been since the night Elle told me she was, in fact, dating Bernard. I'd seen it coming that weekend in California and could hardly get past it while we were together, already dreading what felt like an oncoming train barreling into me. I’d had a sickfeeling that once she moved to Silver Hills, which she did not long after our visit, she'd be sucked into the life her parents wanted for her. One that I had always felt was way too controlling.

And that was exactly what happened.

She probably wouldn’t like that I thought that, but it was true.

Elle had so much to be proud of, yet she bent to the way her parents wanted her to live her life far too often. They weren’t bad people. They loved their daughter, but they also wanted her to fit in the little box they’d orchestrated. Anytime she did her own thing, she lit up from the inside out, and I wished they knew that side of her like I did.

I hated that something or someone always got in the way of telling her how I felt, or maybe it was just myself getting in the way. I didn't know anymore. I hadn’t wanted to be one more person trying to lead her life the way I wanted it to go, I wanted her towant me. And I only kept losing her.

I’d drowned in alcohol and tried to escape in any way possible. None of it worked. It had been months now and she was still with him. It was probably time that I accepted that, but my heart didn't want to.

And now I was completely and utterly fucked.

There'd been this woman, Carrie, who had been on me for months. I'd ignored her mostly. She was beautiful, yeah, but there was something about her that put me off. The women I met usually didn’t want anything but a good time. It was simple—nothing more, nothing expected. But Carrie, I just didn't trust her. I didn't know why. Maybe because she turned up after every damn game. My teammates and I switched between several bars in town to avoid the jersey chasers, and Carrie always found us. She even showed up at the away games. I'd been drinking too much one nightand she cornered me, and I ended up in a hotel room with her.

I'm pretty sure I cried about Elle and then pretended like it was her giving me a blow job.

Definitely a low point.

She had the condoms and when I woke up a couple hours later with her on top of me, I had sex with her.

I could own my weak-ass self, but fuck me, it didn’t mean I was proud of it.

I couldn't believe my life was about to change forever.

I pulled into Elle's parents’ driveway and sat there for a moment, hands shaking. I felt sick, literally sick.

When Carrie had told me the news, I’d thrown up and then felt ashamed and hoped it never came out in the future that I’d reacted that way.

I got out of the car and went to the door, praying I wouldn't have to see Elle's parents, not today. I didn't think I could stand to see them right now.

I rang the doorbell and Elle's dad answered the door.