Page 43 of Fifty
I let the idea roll around in my already too busy brain for a second. I guess sitting down with them for an hour and listening to what they have to say can’t really hurt our relationship any more. I don’t know if they’ve really changed, like she’s claiming, but I do know that I’m not the same teenage girl who left home. I can at least listen.
???
I pick at my eggs, pushing them around my plate, unsure if my stomach will settle enough to actually eat. So far, I’ve only managed to get in a couple bites of toast. I still can’t believe I’m actually sitting across the table from my parents. Even when I lived at home, it was rare that we sat down and ate a meal together, unless it was some sort of photo op.
“Is Ali really getting married? She’s not even twenty yet,” I say, trying to start some sort of conversation, but my words come out fast and full of judgement I hadn’t really intended.
“She is,” Dad answers as Mom nods along, slowly sipping her coffee. “They dated in high school and it’s a perfect match,” he adds, a broad smile growing on his face. I can only take his excitement to mean that this picture-perfect union is somehow benefiting my father’s political aspirations.
“You know, you could be just as happy as your sister,” Dad words cut into me as he casually lifts his mug to his lips, blowing across the steaming cup before taking a small sip. That is exactly why I left. I didn’t want to be used as a pawn in his game.
“Iamhappy, Dad,” I smile through my gritted teeth.
“Oh, honey, we’re sure you are. You know your daddy didn’t mean anything by it,” Mom’s hand moves across the table, lightly covering mine. She’s always tried to be the peace keeper, but in the end, she’s always taken his side. “We just…well, we wish you lived closer so that we could actually see it,” she adds before quickly sliding her hand away.
“I wish Ali had come with you,” I say aloud, thinking about how nice it would be to see my sister. She was already a teenager when I left, but I’m sure she’s a grown woman now. It’s hard to imagine my little sister planning a wedding already.
“She really wanted to come, but she’s got a full schedule between school and all the wedding preparations. She actually had a dress fitting this weekend,” Mom offers.
“So, how did all this happen?” I ask, feeling completely lost after being out of their lives for so long.
“Well, his name is Thomas. And like your father already mentioned, they started dating in high school. After graduation, they went on a cruise to celebrate and he popped the question. Your father and I tried to hold her back and get her to focus on school, but all she could talk and think about was the wedding. We’re really hoping that once the ceremony is over, she’ll focus back on her studies,” Mom explains with a small half smile.
“How about you?” Dad questions, clearing his throat. “Did you ever get a chance to check out any colleges?” he asks, but I’m sure he already knows the answer. They knew where I was living, so I’m sure they’ve been keeping tabs on other aspects of my life as well.
“No,” I offer, letting my eyes fall back to my plate of scrambled eggs.
As happy as I am to be free and living life on my own terms, there are definitely a couple things I would have done differently. For instance, I wish I hadn’t stayed with my ex as long as I did, but I’m sure I’m not the only girl filled with that type of regret. Other than the mistakes I’ve made in my love life, I’d have to say that not going to college is pretty high up on that list.
“You’re still young, you’ve got time. I know plenty of women my age who are going back and taking classes now,” Mom boasts.
“Of course she’s got time. That could be another positive outcome if you decide to make the trip back to Georgia. Your mother and I would be happy to help out with all of that admission paperwork they force you to fill out,” Dad suggests, and I know he really means that they’ll help me out financially. It’s just another carrot for him to dangle.
“I’ll think about it,” I offer a clipped answer.
As much as I have dreamed about going to college, I’ve also finally found a place where I feel like I might actually belong. I’ve started a real life here, and Fifty is here… And I know after last night that we’re in the middle of a shit storm, but I also know that he cares; and I care about him too. I can’t just walk away.
???
“Fifty?” my voice catches as my eyes are drawn to his large frame. His eyes are wide with confusion, watching me climb from my parent’s car.
“Damn. I thought maybe we could talk about last night, but I guess the Foxx DDen isn’t the only secret you’ve been keeping,” his voice is rough as he gestures towards my father’s flashy Mercedes.
What does he think of me?
“That’s my parents. They…uh…they surprised me this morning. We’re just getting back from breakfast,” I start to explain, but he takes a large step forward and I stop, almost choking on my words.
His dark eyes sweep between me and the expensive vehicle still parked beside me. I can feel the anger vibrating off him.
“Your parents,” he roars out with a rough laugh. “Your parents drive a God damn Mercedes, and you’re spending nights pole dancing at the fucking Foxx DDen. What the actual fuck? What was this to you, some real life experience bullshit? Did you just feel the need to slum it for a minute?” he rages. I pull in a sharp breath as the pain of his questions radiates through my chest.
“No,” my voice cracks and I clear my throat before trying to continue. “It wasn’t like that at all. Will you come inside and let me explain?” I beg, already feeling myself starting to crumble. I spent all night wishing I had just let him come back with me so that I could’ve explained everything. And now, because I didn’t, everything is worse.
“No, darlin’. You had a chance to explain all this shit last night, but you pushed me away. You made me feel like the fuckin’ bad guy, but just look at all the shit you’ve been hiding. I never even knew you,” he glares at me, lifting taller before turning and moving back towards his bike.
“That’s not true,” I say to his back. “You do know me. You brought me back to life. You’re the only one who makes me feel like the real Jade. Please…” I plead.
But my words are useless and I’m helpless, stuck watching as he climbs back on his bike without another word and barely a glance. The engine roars and in an instant, he’s gone; and I have no one to blame but myself.