Page 115 of Rumor Has It
No mulligans. Cassidy’s been in this with me all along.
Later, while she spoke to Rhiannon, I dialed Colton myself and begged his forgiveness. We’d talked enough times during the road trip with Cassidy via FaceTime and him and me on the phone that I felt I had gained his approval and I didn’t want to lose it. I didn’t want his youngest daughter defending me from the press when I’d stayed mum, not defending her from the months of rumor and conjecture.
Before I could get the words out of my mouth, he said,“I understand things happen that I’m not meant to understand. And I understand fatherhood can bite you in the ass when you least expect it. We’ll see you when you get here. Travel safe.”And he left it at that.
“Okay, are you ready?” Rhiannon asks.
No.I think.
As solemn as the occasion is, Rhiannon brought her camera to take our last family picture. She’s decorated a blank wall with pink, red and yellow balloons. Those are the colors her cousin chose to go with. They reminded Cassidy of strawberries and bananas, the baby’s favorites.
I’m about to gesture for Cassidy to join us when my face crumples. Grief strikes at inopportune times and for the strangest reasons. Never mind the cakes this year or any other, I won’t watch Aria tear into a banana muffin and make that adorable little hum sound.
I curl into myself.
“Isaiah,” Cassidy rushes me.
“No. No.” I say when she latches onto the baby. “I’ve got her.”
Cassidy glances between me and the backdrop. “We don’t have a lot of time.” Her voice cracks.
Clutching Aria, I lean my forehead to hers.
She palms the nape of my neck, threading her fingers into my hair and hugging me as close as she can. “We can do this. Wegetthis moment. It’s ours. No one can take it away from us.” She wipes my tears and in turn I wipe hers.
We stand in front of the balloons. Aria is on my hip between us. Rhiannon lifts the camera. Her shutter clicks, taking a few shots of Cassidy and me futzing over Aria. Rhiannon doesn’t ask us to smile. It’s pointless.
At the same time Cassidy kisses Aria’s left cheek, I kiss the baby’s right.
“That’s it, guys. That’s the picture. You’re done,” Rhiannon says.
The woman I love and I blink at one another, thinking the same thing.
It sounds so… Final.
“Was that enough?” Cassidy hovers while Rhiannon crouches to put her camera away in the bag and zips it up.
“I swear to you, Cass, that’s the picture you’ll want.” Rhiannon’s eyes water and she hugs her cousin.
I loop the diaper bag over my shoulder and open the door. Cassidy grabs her purse. Rhiannon her camera bag.
“What about the balloons?” Rhiannon asks.
“Leave them behind,” I say.
We don’t need them. The suite’s been swept of our belongings. Vespa supervised Aria’s things being stripped from the bus and taken to FedEx. I haven’t been on the bus since we got to Austin, and I’m not looking forward to boarding it again in Phoenix.
On the way downstairs, Cassidy and I wedge ourselves into the corner of the elevator. She touches Aria like she might break, hesitating to return our little girl’s silly smiles so that she doesn’t crack and overwhelm Aria.
Rhiannon takes a seat in the lobby. We round a corner and Steve is outside of the conference room. I give him Aria’s bag.
“Six months and I’ll have you back,” I remind him.
“I got it, boss. Just long enough to train the new guy.”
Steve is accompanying Dillon and Aria on the chartered plane that will get them to LA. The same pilot will fly back without him and wait on the tarmac for us, so we arrive on time at the next tour stop.
The road crew depends on me for their paychecks. I have to salvage the remainder of the season. I don’t currently give a damn about the upcoming concerts, and I don’t have long to change my attitude. So excuse me for not being hopeful that I will.