Page 18 of Adam & Eve
To realize I had to let her go caused my heart to ache.
Was this what love felt like? I asked myself.
I’d never been in love before. Didn’t think I was capable of it. I didn’t love her, but I could
honestly say I’d lie, cheat, steal, maim, and kill for her. All because of that smile. It was the
hardest thing I’d ever had to do, but I left my reception after our eyes disconnected
When I returned from my honeymoon a month later, she’d changed. Her body language was
different, so was her smile. She was happier than I’d seen her in prior months. I wanted to know
why. Three days later I saw her with him. I found out after some snooping that his name was
Davis.
Davis was a fucking cliché, even more so than I. Tall, literally dark and handsome. His
looks rivaled my own. He excelled academically and in sports. Girls swooned at the sight of the
campus football star— the all-around, wholesome, progressive black college man—rising above
adversity. Ask anybody and they’d tell you he was going to be something when he graduated.
I could imagine their future together, living in a cute little house with a white picket fence,
two or three kids. He’d go to work and control the finances, therefore controlling her. She wouldn’t
like that, but would stay, because she was loyal. She’d raise perfect little replicas of them both.
Happy content children, with bland personalities. She’d be happy, somewhat. Without me. He was
perfect for her. Just the thought made me want to snap his fucking neck.
For days I watched them, trying to decide my next move. They looked good together and
that bothered me. Made me feel insecure and lonely. I wasn’t familiar with either of those feelings,
and it nearly drove me mad. At the very beginning I promised myself I wouldn’t interfere too much
in her life, but I had to make sure that relationship didn’t last long. I gave it three months; the
longest three months of my life. I knew that she needed the experiences she shared with him to help
her grow. My meds helped me stay calm. For the first time in years, I took them regularly. They
held the demons at bay.
When the public displays of affection went from playful, sweet, and teasing to sexual and
heated, I knew he had to go. It was only a matter of time before she gave herself to him. Her body
first then her heart and soul would follow. I couldn’t let that happen.
I wouldn’t lie and say I was ashamed of what I did next. I was not. Bianca was expensive
but turned out to be worth every penny. She was an exotic Dominican beauty with a body built for