Page 66 of Session 33
I turned to him. “I’ve left some of your old clothes in the guest bathroom if you want to change. You’ll catch a cold like that.”
I went to check on Ekon when he walked away. He was still fast asleep. I went back down to make Cassius a plate—the least I could do was feed him if he was hungry.
He came back downstairs, just wearing his gym shorts. His shirt was slung over his shoulder.
I tried not to stare, but he noticed. Of course, he noticed.
“You can have anything you see and like,” he teased, that damn smirk that got on my nerves playing on his lips.
I rolled my eyes. “Shut up and sit your ass down. I made chicken and dumplings.”
He chuckled, but he sat down on the sofa. I brought him a bowl, handing it over before settling next to him on the couch. The TV was on, playing some random show in the background, but neither of us was really paying attention.
“I know you haven’t watched the last episode ofEvil,” he said, picking up the remote. “We could watch that while we wait for the rain to die down.”
He gave me a strange look. “You sure your fiancé is cool with me being here without him?”
“Please be quiet, Cassius, and let’s watch this show—or take the bowl and go away.”
He chuckled but said, “Turn it on.”
After the show, Cassius started talking. “I apologized to Keisha, too.”
My spoon of ice cream stopped halfway to my mouth. “You did?”
“Yeah,” he said. “I put her through some shit, and she didn’t deserve that.”
I was so surprised. “So y’all fucking around again?” I heard the anger in my tone with my own ears.
He laughed and shook his head. “No, she tried, but I told her my baby momma would kill me.”
I ignored his comment. “That’s... good, Cassius. Really good.”
He looked at me, his eyes searching mine. “I’ve been working on it, Angel. Trying to be better for Ekon. Thank you for him.”
I didn’t know what to say to that.You’re welcomedidn’t seem like the right thing even though he was thanking me. Plus, there was something in his voice, something that tugged at a part of me, and I needed to change the subject.
Cassius was quiet for a beat, then he reached over, brushing a strand of hair away from my face. His fingers lingered. “Anything for you, Angel. I mean that.”
My breathing went all crazy. It was like the air thickened, like we had been pulled into our old orbit. For a second, it was like we never fell apart. Like he was still mine, like we were still us. And I couldn’t help it—I leaned in, closed the gap, because a kiss felt inevitable. My body remembered how good his lips on me felt, even if I didn’t want to. I went to press my lips against his...
He pulled back, standing up so fast I blinked and missed it. “The rain’s stopped,” he said, his voice strained, like he was holding something in. “I should head out before it starts again.”
I just stared at him, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. He didn’t even glance my way as he left, just grabbed his keys and walked out the door like it was nothing. It clicked shut behind him.
I sat there, my heart still racing, confusion curling up in my stomach. Was he... over me? Had he really moved on?
The thought—the idea that maybe he had—sat heavy in my chest. I hated that it bothered me, that it even mattered. I had Solomon. I shouldn’t even care. But I did, and I didn’t know what the hell to do with that.
Chapter fifty seven
“I should’ve kissed her,” I said as I slouched back in the therapist’s leather chair. “I should’ve kissed her and fucked the shit out of her, got her pregnant again. She would've let me. She was looking at me like she did in the beginning. Why the fuck is she so fucking sexy all the time? I wanted to. I really wanted to,” I ranted.
Dr. Bailey was sitting across from me with a raised eyebrow, but he didn’t say anything right away. He had that patient look on his face, like he was waiting for me to keep going, waiting to dig into my shit like he always did if I didn’t say the right thing.
I shrugged, feeling a little of the residual anger I was holding in start to rise up again. “But I didn’t. Because I know her. She’d probably say some dumb shit afterward, like it was a mistake or we couldn’t be together because of old fella.” I paused, shaking my head. “And then I would’ve lost it and done some stupid shit. Then all this money I’ve been throwing at you would be wasted because I snapped and probably would have choked her ass a little. Plus, I wasn’t letting her use me for some dick because she was scared from sitting on the bridge and feeling all vulnerable and shit.”
Dr. Bailey’s face twitched, and I could tell he wanted to laugh but was holding it in. He cleared his throat before he spoke. “You know what, Cassius? I’m proud of you. You recognized the situation and left. That shows growth. You’re not reacting impulsively like you used to. That’s real progress.”