Page 67 of Session 33

I shifted in my seat, scratching the back of my neck. His words didn’t make me feel any better, though. If anything, it pissed me off more because it felt like some kind of weird accomplishment to not freak out just because the world didn’t rotate my way. I could recognize how bad I was now. “Yeah, thank you or whatever,” I muttered.

Dr. Bailey leaned forward a bit, crossing his legs. “So, you’re ready to move on?”

I thought about it for a beat, let the question sit with me. My feelings for Angel hadn’t changed, but I also knew I couldn’t keep living like I was. “I still love the fuck outta Angel, but I ain’t gon’ keep hurting my own damn feelings, you know? I’m done with that. She can keep making her mistakes with the old man. That’s on her. I’m going to move on, start dating seriously. Angel taught me a lot. And even Ciara, too. I learned I’m more stable with one woman. In a relationship. I drink less. Party less. I need stability. It keeps me from spiraling, and I can’t keep leaning on Jonas and Naomi—and even Silas got a girl now.” I needed that grounding. Angel had given me that, but now she was someone else’s. And as much as it killed me, I had to let her go. Or at least try.

Bailey nodded, his eyes locking onto mine. “That’s good to hear. Recognizing what you need is a big part of growth. Remember that relationships aren’t just about what they can do for you. You need to reciprocate, think about their feelings. Make sure it’s balanced.”

I let his words sink in. He was right.

Bailey talked some more, throwing in his usual affirmations and encouraging bullshit. This was the part I didn’t think I needed. My mind was already drifting.

When the session ended, I got up, feeling like I always did after these talks—like I was better, but not fixed. Maybe I’d never be fixed. Maybe that was the point. I was working on it still. I wanted it so Ekon never had to pay to talk to anybody because I fucked him up.

I walked out to my car, pulling out my phone. I pulled up Angel’s number. I hadn’t changed the name on it. It still saidWife,even though she hadn’t been mine for a long time. I really thought we’d get back together.

But now?

Without thinking too hard about it, I tapped on it and changed the name fromWifetoAngel.Just her name. Nothing more.

I sat back in the driver’s seat, staring at the screen for a second longer. It was a small thing, but it felt like a step forward. Like the start of something new. Or maybe just the end of something that had been dead for a while.

I took a deep breath, threw my phone on the passenger seat. Maybe what I was doing to cope wasn’t enough yet, but it was something.

Chapter fifty eight

When Solomon opened the door, his smile was warm but didn’t quite reach his eyes. He looked tired, like he’d been carrying something heavy all day and was still figuring out how to set it down. I hadn’t seen him in five days. He’d flown to the Dominican Republic to bring his mother here for a visit to meet me. I stepped inside, my nerves on edge. His place smelled of roasted garlic and herbs.

His mother was already seated at the dining table, a small, elegant-looking woman with neatly pinned hair and kind brown eyes that watched me closely, assessing. She reminded me of someone’s sweet grandmother—the kind who would slip you money when your parents weren’t looking.

“Angel, bienvenida,” she said, her voice sugary. “So good to finally meet you.”

“Thank you for coming to meet me,” I managed, forcing my nerves down. I could feel Solomon’s hand at the small of my back, guiding me into the space like he was presenting me. I took a seat, smoothing my dress down and trying to ignore the tremor in my hands. I knew I was being watched, every gesture dissected, weighed.

We sat down, and there was small talk—polite. She asked me about work, about Ekon and his father. I answered as best as I could without going into too much detail.

“I’ll go check on the food; it should be done now,” his mother said, her accent thick when things got silent. Solomon followed her. I fidgeted with my napkin.

I should have stayed put, but I started overthinking—maybe I should have offered to help. I pushed back my chair and followed them. As I approached the kitchen, I heard their voices, low, speaking rapid Spanish.

“She’s too young,” his mother said, her voice edged with frustration. “Esto no está bien, Solomon. You have responsibilities back home.”

I couldn’t catch everything, but I understood enough. The disapproval, the disappointment. She thought I was a distraction, a detour he couldn’t afford to take.

“Mami, this is my life now. I’m not going back,” Solomon replied, his tone flat, like he’d had this argument a hundred times before.

I froze, my heart hammering in my chest. What responsibilities? Was it another woman? Something else? I backed away. I went back to my seat, plastering on the biggest, fakest smile I could muster when they came out of the kitchen, acting like I hadn’t just heard him and his mother.

Dinner went on; the food was perfect—Dominican—but I barely tasted it. I kept replaying their conversation in my head, trying to figure out what it meant. Every time I looked at Solomon, he just smiled like nothing was wrong.

Later, in bed, after he had taken his mother back to the hotel she had insisted on staying in, I told him I had heard them. “What was that about?”

Solomon’s face twisted, his jaw clenched so tight I could see the muscle twitch. He sat up, eyes narrowing at me. “Were you eavesdropping?” he snapped. “Angel, that’s not okay. You don’t listen in on conversations that don’t concern you. You shouldn’t have been listening,” he continued, shaking his head like I’d disappointed him. “It wasn’t about you. It’s not something you need to worry about. I expect better from you.”

And just like that, I felt like a scolded child. Was this how Ekon felt when I talked to him? I was too stunned to say anything. I nodded and turned my back to him. I felt the bed move as he got up and left the room.

I lay there, staring into the darkness, wondering if I had jumped out of the pan with Cassius and into a fire with Solomon, feeling lonelier than I had in a while.

Chapter fifty nine