Page 113 of Cruel King

But even as I tell myself that, those five words crush me. After all the times I wasn’t there for him, he finally found someone else.

I swallow hard and repeat his words back to him. “Seeing someone?”

When he lifts his head, the look in his eyes is pure confusion. Then after a few moments, he reaches out to hold my hand and smiles. “I didn’t mean a woman. I meant a therapist. I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d jump to that conclusion.”

“Why wouldn’t I? Every time we could have been happy together, I’ve done something to ruin it. I left for my aunt’s. I got together with Theo. Then I spent two months hiding away grieving his death. All those times you needed me, and I wasn’t there for you. So if you did find someone else to care for you, how could I blame you? I’d be the one to blame, Matthias.”

Bringing my hand to his lips, he kisses my knuckles and closes his eyes like that simple gesture brings him real happiness. Against my skin, he whispers, “There’s never been anyone but you after those days we spent here snowbound.”

My heart soars at those words. After all that’s happened, he still loves me.

Lifting his head from my hand, he smiles. “This therapist has been helping me deal with all that’s happened. I seem to have some issues with abandonment to work through.”

And just like that, my happiness is dashed because I know I’ve added to those issues. “I’m so sorry, Matthias. I never meant to hurt you. I know I keep saying that, but I am sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. What I’m dealing with goes back to my mother dying. Losing you didn’t help, but it isn’t the cause of my issues, so don’t blame yourself.”

“But if I hadn’t left, and if I only knew…”

I stop myself because I know those recriminations are a waste of time. Still, if only things had worked out differently, we could have been happy all this time.

Matthias sets his pencil down and tenderly cradles my face. Staring into my eyes, he says, “I would go through all of it again—all the pain, all the hurt—if I knew in the end you’d be mine, Ava.”

Closing my eyes, I revel in the feel of his strong hands against my cheeks. “I’ve always been yours, Matthias. Even when I was too foolish to realize it, I was yours.”

His lips softly brush against mine in a kiss that makes my heart flutter. “And I’ve always been yours.”

He seems to sense I need him tonight and eases me back onto the bed. Looking down into my eyes, Matthias says nothing, but I know what he’s feeling because I’m feeling it too. We lost the last two months as I mourned. Alone in his sadness, he waited for me, for this night. I want him to know and never doubt I love him with all my heart and soul.

I tug his T-shirt over his head, and he gently lifts my dress off. Both movements are slow, but it’s okay. We have all the time in the world now that we’re back together.

Our lovemaking is quiet and gentle because I think that’s what we both need tonight. Other times desire has nearly overwhelmed us, making our time together more passionate than I’ve ever experienced with anyone else. This time it’s something deeper we share because of all we’ve been through.

I cling to him as he slowly shows me how much he’s missed me, and I revel in every deliberate movement his body makes. He’s as beautiful to me at this moment as he was that first time we gave in to our feelings for one another all those years ago. The depth of his emotions comes through loud and clear as it always has with Matthias. He’s that intense man he’s always been, and all I want to show him tonight is how much I love who he is.

The man who stole my heart during those snowy December days. The man who loved me when I was with his brother. The man who patiently waited for me while I mourned Theo’s death.

His kiss leaves me breathless like always, and when I come, it’s as if a wall is being torn down that kept us apart. I’m his completely, and nothing could make me happier.

Matthias smiles down at me and sighs. “I missed you so much, Ava. I’m so happy you’ve come back to me.”

I kiss him softly on the lips and whisper against them, “I never want to be without you again. I love you, Matthias.”

Wrapped in his strong arms, I rest my head on his chest and close my eyes. Many men wouldn’t have waited for me to find my way back. As I settle close to his body, I smile because I know I’m so lucky to have him by my side.

After the months of darkness, I’m back where I belong.

CHAPTERFORTY-THREE

Matthias

I findAva in the kitchen with Eleanor and more cookies than I’ve ever seen in my life. Trays stacked five and six high fill the countertops, the top of the stove, and the kitchen table. For a second, I look around, unsure if I should just turn around and leave.

“We’re almost done and ready for the party. We’ve got all kinds of cookies. Want to try some?” Ava asks, and for the first time, I notice she’s got flour on the tip of her nose and a smudge of chocolate on her cheek.

When she stops in front of me, I smile at how cute she looks. “Decided to wear some of the batter?”

For a moment, she stares up at me in confusion before I touch her nose and show her the flour on my fingertip. Quickly, she pulls up her apron covered in everything they’ve put into the cookies and wipes her face.