Page 73 of Cruel King
My brother’s eyes light up. “With dried apricots and scallions? Chicken salad à la Eleanor?” he asks with a big smile.
She beams her pride in her take on a pretty common recipe and nods. “That’s the one.”
“Any chance we have wheat bread? It tastes best on that wheat bread Mom used to love.”
Eleanor points at the bread container and walks over to it to grab the loaf of bread. “I’ve got it. The usual way you like it? I know you’re more particular than Matthias there, who doesn’t care what kind of bread I use.”
Marius cranes his neck to see what she was chopping over on the island. “Any chance you have some arugula over there? I think that would go great with it.”
“Who are you and what have you done with Marius King?” I joke.
He turns to look at me like I’m some barbarian who doesn’t know good food. “What?”
“Arugula? Seriously?”
“Just because my palate has grown from macaroni and cheese or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches when I was six doesn’t mean there’s anything different about me. I’m sure you found some foods over in the UK you liked that I’d find strange.”
I shake my head. “Not a one.”
He laughs as I grimace at the thought of English food. “You look like you’re going to be sick. You okay?”
“Just bad memories. So now you’re an arugula guy. It’s like I don’t even know my own family anymore.”
“Theo seems the same. Everything’s a good time, and he’s stuck to his best friend like they’re joined at the hip. Sounds like every day of his life growing up, don’t you think?”
His mention of those two makes my mood sour, and I hurriedly stand up to leave, sending my chair sailing across the floor behind me. “I changed my mind about the chicken salad sandwich, Eleanor. Maybe later.”
She and Marius look at me like I’m out of my mind, but I don’t care. I don’t have an appetite anymore.
By the time I get outside, that old familiar rage I’ve felt every day I’ve been here is back, tearing me up inside. Christ, I don’t know how I’m going to handle this for much longer.
Not that I imagine I’ll have to. Once we’re done with the executor bullshit, I’m sure Theo will be taking Ava with him. He told me he’s got a race two months from now, so he’s going to have to get back to his life soon.
A life that now includes her.
I stop walking and realize I’m halfway out to my favorite spot on the entire estate. Looking up, I see the sky is perfectly blue with only a few wispy white clouds. I can’t think of a better day to sit under that tree and sketch. Fuck work and everything to do with King Industries for the rest of today. Same with anything having to do with that executor job and anything else here that’s driving me insane.
Ten minutes later, I’m right where I want to be for the first time in a few days and happier than I thought I could be nowadays. Two birds chirp above my head having their own private bird conversation, but other than that, it’s quiet. Nobody’s telling me they need me to do this or expect me to do that. It’s simply perfect and all I want at this moment.
I left my cell inside, so no one can contact me. For the first time since I returned to this place, I’m free to do what I want, and the only thing I have any desire to do is sketch.
Pushing every other thought out of my mind, I focus on a rabbit sitting perfectly still under a hedge nearby. For a few moments, I wonder if it’s one of those garden statues the new groundskeeper seems to love. He’s placed them around the estate, often in some of the oddest places like that duck he’s set out on grass near the back of the property. There’s not a drop of water anywhere near him. He looks lost, like the rest of the ducks in his life all left and he’s not sure where to go.
I see the rabbit’s ears twitch ever so slightly, and I know he’s not one of the groundskeeper’s new toys. The creature doesn’t move any more, almost as if he knows I want to draw him and he’s happy to pose for his portrait.
Sure I don’t have long before he hops away, I quickly begin sketching his head and body, resigned to probably having to fill in the rest later because he’ll be long gone by the time I can sketch his fur. That’s okay, though. I understand the urge to get away from others.
Ten minutes later, he’s disappeared to another part of the estate, but I’m happily drawing his little face and enormous ears. I haven’t seen a lot of rabbits, but as I begin to complete his features, I have to admit he’s a beautiful animal.
I work to capture the softness of his brown fur and the innocence in his dark eyes, wanting to do him justice since he so kindly sat for so long while I drew. Focused on that, I don’t hear someone interrupt my peace and quiet until they step on a branch resting on the ground nearby.
Instantly irritated, I lift my head and see Ava standing a few yards away. Dressed in a pink sundress with little white polka dots and wearing black flip flops, she looks like she belongs at the beach. She’s got her long brown hair up in a ponytail and looks sweet as she stares at me.
Everything about her looks innocent. It’s all a lie, though. Nobody knows that more than me.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bother you.”
As usual, every ugly thing I can possibly think of to say to her fills my head, but this time I don’t utter even a single one. I simply remain silent as I look at her, trying to convince myself she was never anything to me.