Page 86 of Cruel King
“I didn’t do much. Rachel did all the real nursing work with him. Most of the time I just sat with Mr. King so he wouldn’t be alone.”
“Well, it meant the world to him. So will you go back to school? You don’t have long to go before you graduate.”
My father sounds so hopeful that I don’t want to disappoint him by saying I don’t think I’m ready for school yet. I need to be able to focus, and just like right after my mother died and I had to take time off, I feel the same way now.
I’ve come to realize I feel sad not only because of losing Theo but also because of Mr. King’s death and all that’s happened with Matthias. It’s been a hard few months, and until I’m able to put at least some of it in the past, I can’t even consider the idea of returning to school.
“Someday, Dad. I promise I’ll get my degree. Just not right now. I’m still pretty down about everything, so I’d be no good at school. But I’ll get back.”
He smiles and pats my hand. “I know you will. That’s how you are, Ava. You feel things so strongly, so when it gets too much, you need a break. It’s smart, actually. I think more people would be in better shape if they did like you do. But I also know you’re focused, and you’ll get back to your studies and graduate just like Max hoped.”
Eager to change the subject, I take a deep breath and ask, “So what do you plan to do with all your money he left you? Are you planning on traveling down to see Drew and the family soon?”
A guilty grin tells me he’s been hiding things from me. “I’ll definitely go down there, but I have news I wanted to share with you first. I’ve made a decision.”
I love when he teases me like this. His decisions always turn out to be something small, like he’s going to paint the living room a different shade of blue. He can be so playful at times.
“Oh yeah? Let me guess? You’re going to get a new range and refrigerator? Not to pry, but I saw you left some pictures of appliances on the table in the living room.”
“I was looking at new refrigerators, but not for here, honey. I’ve decided it’s time for me to leave this house. I stayed here long after your mother and I planned. We wanted to travel when I retired, but then she died, and all those plans went up in smoke. Now that Max is gone and I don’t have to work anymore, I’m going to buy a cabin on a lake somewhere and live out my days fishing and relaxing. He made me swear to him I wouldn’t work until my final days like he did, and I plan to live up to that promise.”
My father’s announcement hits me like a truck. Leaving here? I never imagined my father would live anywhere else but in this house. He loves it here. This is where he and my mother lived the entire time they were married. How can he leave?
“Are you sure, Dad? I mean, you’ve always loved living here.”
Nodding, he smiles. “I loved it here because I was working for Max. I’m not working as the estate manager anymore. I don’t even think Matthias is going to have one. It’s time for me to move on, and a cabin on a lake where I can fish and you kids and my grandkids can come visit sounds like the perfect retirement to me.”
I love that for him. After all these years doing for everyone else, my father is finally going to live for himself. He deserves that.
“That’s great, Dad. I guess I’m the last Sutton to leave.”
Even as I say that, I feel sad. This has been my home my entire life. It seems like a lot of things I’ve relied on since I was a child are leaving me.
“You’ll go when it feels right. I know you will.”
“Have you found a place yet? I’d love to hear about it.”
He pulls out his phone and says, “As a matter of fact, I have. A nice place on a lake in North Carolina. I’ll be halfway between Drew and you, assuming you choose to stay here in New York. It’s got a dock and three bedrooms I hope will be in use more often than not.”
As he swipes through the pictures of this lake house he’s found, I want to be happy for him, but all I feel is sadness. Everything’s changing so quickly. I’m not sure I’m ready to lose another person in my life so soon after Theo and Mr. King.
Even more, when I leave, my connection to this estate will be broken forever. I’ll have no reason to return if my father isn’t here. That means I’ll never see Matthias again.
I don’t understand after all that’s happened why that makes me sad. I should hate him for what he’s done. I just can’t. Too much of what happened is my fault.
When I finish looking at the pictures and hand my father his phone, I ask, “Have you told Matthias you’re going to be leaving?”
He nods and quietly answers, “I told him today. He seemed to take it almost somberly, to be honest. For the first time, he reminded me of his father when I gave him the news.”
“Oh. That’s good. I didn’t know if he’d give you a hard time or anything.”
My father stands up from the table. “I think after what happened, he’s changed, Ava.”
I say nothing to that. Maybe he has. I don’t know.
“Well, I’m off to bed. I need to get to sleep early tonight. Your brother and the girls are going to FaceTime me in the morning, and I swear those two require me to have at least two cups of coffee beforehand to understand them.”
He’s so cute when he talks about his granddaughters. They are like two tiny sacks of dynamite. “Okay, Dad. I’m going to stay up for a while. I feel like I spent a month in bed, so going to sleep early is the last thing on my mind these days.”