Page 7 of One Drink

Chapter 4

Stephanie

Not a minute went bythat I didn’t think about Jake, and I was no closer to figuring out how to convince him we made a mistake. From the look in his eyes Saturday morning, he was not going to change his mind about us. There was a part of me that didn’t want him to, but I’d never been in a serious relationship. So far, the best excuse I came up with was that I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. But I knew that wasn’t going to be enough to convince Jake, or me, of anything.

If I was honest with myself, which I was trying really hard not to be, our friendship was more of a selling point than a deterrent. If there was ever a man that would support my career, it was Jake. He put his writing on hold to help me save the magazine. If that didn’t scream support, I don’t know what did. He also knew the issues with my father just as well as any of my girlfriends, and he’d always been there to support me when Dad went off on one of his rampages insisting I quit my job and find a husband.

I tried to be understanding of his mindset when I was younger, but when he refused to provide financial support for me to go college, I’d had enough. Dad hadn’t batted an eye paying for my older brother Michael’s ivy league education. But when I decided I wanted to attend NYU, he said no. Instead, he gave me a list of his colleague’s sons that he thought would make good husbands for me.

Seriously.

I was so mad; I worked my ass off in high school and applied for every scholarship I could find. When I earned a full-ride scholarship to NYU, he tried like hell to derail my plans. It was the only time Mom stepped in and defended me. Although her way of defending me was painting a picture of me failing and coming back home within a year with my tail between my legs.

When I didn’t come running back after my first year, Dad came to campus to collect me. It was right after Jake and I met in our journalism class. Several of us were hanging out on the quad between classes when my dad charged up to me and told me it was time to go. Jake had been there with his then-girlfriend when my dad went off, telling me how I was ruining my chances at finding a husband. It had been one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.

When my father grabbed my arm to pull me away, Jake stepped up, wrapped his arm around my waist, and held me close. He convinced my dad we had just started dating, and he was impressed with my accomplishments. He went as far as to insinuate he saw marriage in our future.

Come to think of it, it was shortly after that incident that Jake and his girlfriend broke up. Jake never had another steady girlfriend after that. He went out on dates, but no one ever stuck around.

What was it he said?

Don’t kid yourself. We’ve danced around this for over ten years.

I’ve wanted this since the day you walked into my life.

Had I been blind to his affection for that long? Neither of us were interested in settling down and getting married. We’d had that conversation countless times. Women only went after him for his money, and I refused to give up my independence.

He didn’t mean what he said. It was just drunken sex and nothing more.

But it had been amazing sex. Maybe the best sex of my life.

I heard the quiet click of my office door before I saw Jake had entered. I’d been so lost in my own thoughts; I didn’t see him walk in. He leaned against the back of the door wearing my favorite dark navy suit of his. I loved the way the jacket accentuated his shoulders and hung around his waist. It highlighted his chest in such a way that I knew whatever was beneath was fit and firm.

“I was hoping we could talk.” His statement was simple—no emotion, no demands.

“I’m not sure I’m ready.” My honesty surprised me more than it surprised him. He didn’t even flinch at my bluntness. Truth was, Monday morning came too fast, and I wasn’t ready to face Jake yet. I couldn’t deny my feelings for him and being near him would make it hard for me to stand my ground.

His eyes were dark and serious and—maybe I was losing my mind—there was an unfamiliar heat in his gaze. Our eyes locked in a way that was not normal for us, and an uneasy feeling settled in my stomach. Was it nerves or lust?

“That’s unfortunate.” His gray eyes pierced into me, forcing me to look away. Not because I was afraid of what he would see if he looked deep enough, but because he already saw through my bullshit. That was one thing Jake was always good at—spotting my bullshit and setting me straight. Right now, I wasn’t ready to be set straight.

“Jake, can we not do this now?” I jumped up out of my chair, desperate to expend some of the nervous energy that caused my skin to tingle the minute he walked into my office.

“Now is as good a time as any.”

I leaned against the window and, while there was plenty of distance between us, the lack of my desk separating us made me want to reach out and touch him. And touching him right now would be an even bigger mistake. He took a step closer and my heart pounded like crashing waves against a crumbling dam. His eyes were on my mouth, and the way he looked at me made me want to kiss him.

“Jake, please.” My voice was heady and definitely told him my words were in contradiction to my desires. His eyes softened, but he didn’t move.

“Don’t do this, Steph.” A hint of pain flashed in his eyes.

“I’m not ready for whatever it is you want.” A lifetime of pain and anger jaded my mind when it came to relationships. While Jake hadn’t used that word, I heard it in his voice on Saturday, and I saw it in his eyes now. He wanted a relationship, and that scared the hell out of me.

“And what is it you think I want?” He took a step closer, still not touching me, and my breath hitched.

“I don’t know,” I lied. I wasn’t going to be the first one to say it out loud. “But I don’t know how to process the look in your eyes.”

“Please, Stephanie.” His voice was soft and gentle. His shoulder’s slumped and he looked defeated.