Page 32 of Truck Up

“What else happened?” she finally asks to nudge me along. “This isn’t just about your mother, is it?”

I rub the back of my neck. My shoulders and neck have been tense ever since Amelia dropped the pregnancy bomb on me. It’s only gotten worse the longer I’ve avoided the issue.

“No, not entirely.”

“What else happened?”

My body tenses more and I hyperfocus on a spot on the floor to distract me. Then I take a few deep breaths like she taught me. It helps enough that I can at least begin this conversation.

“You know the girl I’ve been seeing?”

She nods. “Did something happen with her?”

I let out a low, frustrated snort. “You could say that.”

She raises a brow and stares at me with that pointed look that says my attitude is not welcomed in today’s sessions. Her patience is thin.

Clenching my hands into tight balls, I force the words out. “She’s pregnant.”

“Ah,” she says like everything has just become clear. “And you don’t think you’re good enough to be a father.”

“There’s nothing to think about.” The words sound angry coming out of me. “I’m not good enough. This is going to ruin her life.”

“Nobody’s life is going to be ruined. Will things be hard? Yes. But you’re a good man, and from what you’ve told me about Lia, she’s a good woman. You two can handle this.”

“You don’t understand. I can’t be with her.” The tension and fear inside me build and my words sound panicked.

“Yes, you can. She’s chosen you the same as you’ve chosen her. You are together.”

“You’re not listening. Wecannotbe together. Our relationship is a secret.”

She furrows her brows. I’ve never told her that Amelia is the sister of our family rivals. I’ve kept that part to myself. “Mind telling me why?”

I let out a low growl and drop my head back on the chair. I’ve told Dr. Johnson about the feud. She’s aware of how much the Kochs hate us and us them. It’s one of the reasons I’ve never told her more about Amelia. All she knows is we’ve been dating for a couple of years and that she’s important to me and my recovery.

“She’s a Koch,” I whisper.

“Excuse me?” she asks with confusion lacing the words. “As in your family’s rival?”

I nod. “She’s my enemy’s sister.”

“Okay.” She drags the word out like she’s too stunned to speak. This is a first, because Dr. Johnson always has somethingto say. “I didn’t expect that. Certainly explains why you’ve been so tight-lipped about her during our sessions. Why didn’t you trust me with this before?”

“I didn’t tell anybody. Neither did she.”

“Your twin didn’t even know?”

I shake my head. “He knew there was a woman in my life, but he didn’t know who. We didn’t want anything to screw it up, so we didn’t tell anyone. Once one person knows, then it’s no longer a secret.”

“Have your families found out?”

“Not yet.” I sigh and lean forward. I’m struggling to sit still in this chair. I want to pace or hit something. Anything to expel this pent-up energy. “They’ll know soon enough. She wants to keep it. I told Chase but that’s it. I’m not sure who she’s told.”

“This isn’t about your families, is it?”

I furrow my brows. “What do you mean?”

“Your anxiety. It’s not being fed by your worries over your family or hers. You’re anxious because you doubt yourself.”