Page 23 of Forever Found

“Jord, don’t! It’s okay,” I cried as my tears ran over and trickled down my cheeks.

“It’s not fucking okay!” Adam bit back. “Why the hell would you ever think I don’t want you? Of course I want you. Didn’t I just finish telling you I was going fucking nowhere?” he growled as he stared hard at me through the phone. “ I love you, baby. Those aren’t words I just say randomly. I mean them. You mean more to me than I could ever put into words. Tell me you believe that.”

“I do,” I replied easily. “I just…you were shot, Adam. You almost died because of me…because of how messed up my life is. I’d understand if you wanted to walk away…if any of you wanted to walk away.” I looked up to Kane briefly, but the scowl on his face had me looking away again hurriedly.

“Addy, what did I just tell you?” Jordan reminded me.

“None of what happened at the house, or anything before that is on you, Addy. You haven’t done a single thing wrong. I don’t want to hear you blaming yourself again. You listening to me?” Adam asked firmly.

“I’m listening,” I sniffled.

“I never ever want to walk away from you, baby,” he told me more gently.

“None of us do, crazy girl,” Kane added as he walked up and perched on the bed beside me again, wrapping me in both of his arms this time.

“You can’t get rid of us that easily,” Jordan added.

“I want you to remember the rules we made. No hiding. No letting that darkness get into your head without coming to talkto us. No blaming yourself for things that are not your fault. You remember those rules?” Adam asked me and I nodded tiredly.

“We made those rules to protect you, angel. We made them because you were struggling to deal with everything on your own and we wanted to remind you that you weren’t alone anymore,” Kane said.

“The last few days have been really, really tough, Addy, for all of us, but especially for you. You know that as well as we do, but you can’t allow that darkness, or those demons in your head to grab the reins again. You have to come to us, or to Ash, or Eli when you need us. You have to let us help you through this, just the way I know you’re going to help us all through it too,” Adam went on.

“ Adam’s right. Those rules still apply, and we expect you to remember and use them. We expect you to come to us when you need to. No more hiding these thoughts and letting them hurt you,” Kane added as he squeezed his arms even tighter around me.

“They’re right, princess. You’ve been doing so great lately. We don’t want you to let this whole episode set you back more than it needs to. We’re here for you and we want you to lean on us when you need to.” Jordan was smiling gently as he spoke, but I saw the worry on his face too.

“I’m going to be okay, guys,” I sighed. “Adam’s right – it has been a really bad few days and seeing you like that Adam…well. I’m not sure I’ll ever get over that, but I will be alright. You don’t all have to look so worried,” I explained to them all.

“Of course we’re worried, crazy girl,” Kane cut in. “You were taken from us, from our home that should have been safe. We’re all going to need some time to get over that.”

“I’ll try to talk to you all more,” I acquiesced, understanding what Kane was saying. They needed me to go to them, so they could feel assured that I was truly coping. “I’ll come to you when things get scary in here.” I tapped the side of my head.

“Thank you, honey. That’s what we needed to hear,” Adam sighed, and he looked even more exhausted now.

“I should let you sleep. You need lots of rest,” I told Adam.

“I’m good. Back to what I was saying before. When you land back in the city, Addy, I don’t want you coming here. I want you to go home and rest properly. Of course I’m desperate to hold you, and I will, but not until you’ve gotten some sound sleep and eaten. You looked completely wiped out,” Adam clarified.

“I’ll make sure she does, man. Don’t worry, Ash and I have got her and Eli for now. You just concentrate on getting back on your feet,” Kane interjected before I could even try to argue.

“Yeah, will do. I’m not staying in this dump for much fucking longer,” Adam growled, clearly annoyed with being stuck in the hospital.

“You need to listen to the doctors, Adam. No discharging yourself before they say you’re ready,” I warned him with a growl of my own.

“We’ll see.”

“I got him, princess. I won’t let him storm out of here before the docs are good with him leaving,” Jordan assured me.

“Just try and stop me, asshole!” Adam barked, making me laugh.

“You boys play nice now!” I teased. That was what I needed back. I wanted to zap ahead a few weeks to when we could all be home again, laughing and joking, the guys all ribbing each otherconstantly as they often did. I wanted normal back. Normal was good. Normal had the ability to fill me with light and push back my darkness. After everything that had happened, and whatever else was looming to come next, I really needed that light to get me through.

CHAPTER 9

ADDY

“Angel?” I startled badly, gasping deeply as I turned, alarmed at the tap on the back of my hand, then felt ridiculous when it was just Kane. He had been sitting in the back of the car the entire ride home from the air strip, and I knew it, but I had zoned out and gone somewhere else – somewhere dark and haunting, deep in my own mind.