Page 68 of Forever Found

“Don’t let me go,” she pleaded as she seemed to try and climb higher up him in a panic.

“Sshh. I’m not letting you go. I’m right here, but we need to get the seatbelt on too, so you’ll be safe, okay?”

“O-okay,” she nodded jerkily.

“Straddle my thighs for me, and I’ll wrap the seatbelt around both of us,” Jordan told her, his tone remaining calm and steady.I wasn’t sure I’d have been able to do that if she was as terrified and clinging to me that way.

She did as Jordan directed, straddling his thighs, and looping her arms around his neck as she pressed her face to his chest and just seemed to pass out. Ash helped get the seatbelt around the both of them, clicking it in place. I wanted to argue it was hardly safe, but how could I when Addy was completely terrified of letting Jordan go?

“Jump in with them Eli, incase Jordan needs to switch out. We can reassess when we stop for gas,” Asher said calmly, but I saw the stress and concern all over his face. He was just as terrified for Addy as we all were. He spent time wrapping his coat around Addy’s shoulders again, tucking it in so it wouldn’t slip off, then he quietly closed the door and moved to the passenger seat.

“I’m gonna make this right, Jord. I’m going to make her trust me again, and we’re all going to get her through this,” Adam whispered as he leaned over and pressed his forehead against the back of Jordan’s. “I’m so sorry for everything,” he added.

“We’re good, Ad,” Jordan told him, but he never lifted his gaze from Addy. It was like he dare not allow her out of his sight, and I knew exactly how he felt.

ADDY

I jolted awake, not for the first time, as my arms dropped from around Jordan’s neck and panic consumed me. I needed to be holding him. He was the only think keeping me out of the pit of darkness that used to be my thoughts.

“I’m here,” Jordan told me right away. I don’t know how many times it had happened now, but Jordan was obviously ready for it.

“Sorry,” I whispered as I lifted my exhausted arms to loop back around his neck again.

“Here, beautiful. Put your hand under my shirt against my skin instead, okay? You’re arms have to be hurting by now.”

“I’m sorry,” I uttered again. “I just…I c-can’t let you go. Not yet.”

“I don’t want you to let me go. I’m more than happy with you right here,” he told me with a half-smile that didn’t reach his eyes. He held his shirt up a little, so I slid my hand under it and rested it on his abdomen, loving the heat I could feel there. “Put your other hand on my chest, and get more comfortable. I’m not going anywhere. I won’t let you go,” he promised as he moved me in his lap so I sat sideways, facing Eli who sat at the other side of the row, watching me warily.

“How are you feeling, shortcake?” Eli asked carefully. He seemed terrified I’d lose it again, and I didn’t blame him.

“Tired,” I whispered, but I forced a smile to try and soothe him. I hated seeing him look so worried, and yet that’s all I had given him since he found me.

“There’s a rest stop ahead. Do you want to stop and get some food, angel?” Kane asked as he met my eyes in the rearview mirror.

“Not food,” I shook my head. My stomach was still in a state of revolt after the nightmare and the new confusion trying to be processed by my exhausted brain. “But w-water would be good, please.” My mouth was dry and I had the awful after taste from throwing up.

“Let’s stop, Kane. I need to use the restroom anyway, and we could all use coffee,” Asher spoke up.

“Do you need to use the restroom, shortcake?” Eli asked.

While I dreaded the thought of even leaving the car, let alone releasing Jordan from my grip, I had to nod. I definitely did need to use it. I looked up to Jordan with worry and he smiled softly.

“I’ll come with you and wait right outside, okay? I need to use them too,” he told me.

“Okay,” I nodded, but I felt ill at the thought of him being away from me for the time it would take both of us to pee, which was insanity, but I didn’t know how else to cope with what was going on inside of me.

“You can stay with me, or one of the others while Jord goes,” Eli cut into my panic. I couldn’t help but look to Adam who sat behind us, and then to Kane who was driving. I so wished things between us all were like they were before Max, so I could run to the both of them too.

When Kane parked up outside the rest stop I looked around, my anxiety already building inside of me for no apparent reason other than I had to get out of the car. It was a large rest stop, with a diner off to one side, a huge gas station storefront in the middle and a coffee place at the other side. There were people milling around and others filling their cars at the pumps.

“Deep breaths,” Jordan said to me gently.

“I’m so sorry. I…I d-don’t know what’s happening to me,” I squeaked shakily.

“No apologies. You’re exhausted and it’s been a really shitty couple of days. You’re doing just fine,” he told me. I knew he was trying to keep me calm. Because what he said was crap. I was having a mental breakdown. I was sure of that, and I was pretty sure Jordan knew it too.

Asher appeared at the door and opened it slowly, crouching until he was before me with a look of concern on his face that he couldn’t hide.