Page 69 of Forever Found

“Think you can walk, sweetheart?” he asked.

“Yeah. I’m good,” I lied as I took his offered hand and turned to get out of the car. My legs were aching from the position I’d been sat in and I was so shaky on my feet I instantly found myself leaning into my brother. Thankfully, he seemed to expect it and caught me easily.

I watched Jordan wincing as he slowly moved out of the car and knew his legs had to be completely dead after having me sat on top of him for so long.

“Can you even feel your legs, bro?” Adam joked as he too studied his brother. Jordan sent him a glare then turned to me and smiled.

“I’m fine, babe. I just need to walk a little,” he assured me.

“How about we give Jord a second, and I’ll come inside with you, okay?” Asher suggested. I looked to Jordan with concern as he stood with one leg bent up behind him, his hand wrapped around his ankle. He saw me watching him and straightened up.

“I’m good, Ash. I can stay with her,” he said, but I could see he was still hobbling as he came closer.

“I c-can stay with Ash. I’m okay. You walk around a little,” I told him as steadily as I could.

“I’ll stay with them too,” Eli volunteered as he appeared at my side and took my hand in his. I nodded to Jordan, assuring him I was alright.

“I’ll be right behind you, okay? I’ll be close if you need me,” he told me, and I nodded again, then I leant against Ash, clutching Eli’s hand as hard as I could while we walked inside the store.

I was stupidly scared of leaving Jordan, worried without him holding me and me touching him, the darkness that filled me would find a way to drag me all of the way down to its depths.

But then I sensed someone behind us, and when I turned and found Adam close at my back, I instantly calmed some. Just because things between the two of us were a mess, didn’t make me love him any less, or make me feel any less safe when he was near.

“Okay, baby girl?” he asked when he caught me glancing round to him.

“Yeah,” I nodded as I met his eyes and pleaded with him not to leave me. It wasn’t that my brothers didn’t make me feel safe – they absolutely did – but they just didn’t seem to have the same effect on me as my guys when I needed something to cling to. They didn’t have the ability to drag me back from the grip of my darkness as effectively as Jordan, Adam, and Kane. I needed that, because, right then, I was more scared than I’d ever been that I was on the very precipice of losing myself completely to that relentless dark within.

“Go with Eli to the restrooms and I’ll grab some supplies, okay sweetheart?” Ash asked, pulling me from glancing back to Adam as I turned to look at him instead. I nodded. I felt too exhausted to even speak more than I needed to. “I’ll get you some water. Do you want something to eat? Maybe some snacks?”

“Just water, please. I’m not hungry,” I told him, just the thought of food making my stomach rebel even worse than it already was.

Eli led me off to the side, towards the restrooms, and again I found myself glancing behind me in search of Adam. He smiled softly as he continued to follow us. When I stumbled, because I wasn’t looking where I was going, he lunged forward and grabbed me, as did Eli and I found myself held up between them.

“Steady, honey,” Adam rumbled from beside me, and I loved the deepness of his voice as a shiver ran up my back at the feel of his huge hands holding my waist.

“Sorry. I’m just tired,” I tried to explain.

“We know, shortcake. Stop saying you’re sorry,” Eli told me as he released his hold on me, glancing to Adam as he did so.

“This okay, Addy?” Adam asked as he pulled me into his side more closely and wrapped one of his huge arms right around my back. His arm was so long his hand landed in the center of my stomach, and again I felt safe with him holding me so securely.

“Yep.” I gave a shy, flustered nod. It just felt so right to be pressed against him like that again. It had been so long, and I had missed him so much. We’d been in the same house, but we barely even knew it with how hard Adam had worked to avoid me.

Eli pushed open the door to the restrooms and we walked through. I was taking discreet deep breaths to try and stop myself from tearing up at the relief of having Adam holding me. I knew it was probably only temporary, but it still made me feel a calm that I had been missing without him, and I needed that more than I could ever say.

Adam and Eli took turns to use the men’s room, one of them staying with me at all times, then I had to go, my anxiety overriding my exhaustion as it pushed me to move as quickly asI could. I literally came running from the ladies’ room and threw myself against Adam.

“What’s wrong?” he asked as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close.

“I…I d-don’t know,” I uttered as I pressed my face to his chest and just breathed him in.

“Hey, look at me, baby,” he said, and I instantly lifted my head until I met his eyes. “Talk to me.”

“It’s like I told Jord,” I began. “I…I feel like I’m slipping away…like I’m drowning and you…holding onto you like this, it’s the only thing k-keeping me here.” My last words wobbled even more as more tears came.

I was pretty sure I was having some mental breakdown. Even under all of the exhaustion, anxiety, and fear, I knew the way I was acting was irrational and pretty crazy, but I just couldn’t seem to make myself think straight. All I knew was that holding onto one of the men I loved, was the only thing keeping me together enough to function as well as I was.

“I’m sorry,” I pushed out through my strangled throat. “I…I know you d-don’t want this anymore, but I can’t…my brain is messed up right now and it…I still love you Adam…I feel safe w-with you. It’s just for now, until Jord can….”