Page 70 of Forever Found
“Enough,” he cut me off as he pulled me even closer, then lifted me up so I was eye to eye with him. Eli was gone, not that I’d noticed him slip away, so it was just the two of us in the quiet area outside the bathrooms. “I love you too, Addy, and you will always be safe with me. I know I messed up before, but that will never happen again.”
“No, Adam.”
“Yes,” he cut in again. “I was an idiot that day and you were taken because I messed up. I know you want to deny it. I see you shaking your head, but that’s the way I feel, and I won’t change my mind on it. What I want to do though, is learn from it, and then put it behind us. We’re both here, whole. I don’t want to waste any more time we could have together – time I could spend loving you and giving you the life you deserve. Can you forgive me for being such an asshole?”
“There’s nothing t-to forgive, Adam. I just want things to be the way they were before,” I sniffled. “ I missed you s-so much.” I looped my arms around his neck and held him tightly as I lay my head on his shoulder.
“Thank fuck,” he sighed as he rested his head against mine for a moment, then he kissed the side of my neck just once. Tears were spilling again, but this time they were of relief that Adam still wanted to be with me – that he still loved me. I had been so terrified I’d already lost him.
The sound of the door being thrust open caused us both to turn in time to see Jordan walking in from the store.
“Everything okay?” he asked as his eyes went right to mine.
“Getting there, brother,” Adam replied.
“You good, princess?” Jordan asked.
“Better,” I nodded. “Are you?”
“Yep. Regained full use of my legs,” he chuckled as he stalked closer and pressed his warm hand against my back. He leaned in to kiss my tear streaked cheek and I reached out to grab his shoulder, not wanting him to step away. Being between him and Adam made me feel even calmer. I only wished Kane were there too.
Jordan leaned in even closer and ran his hand up by back to the nape of my neck. “I need to take a leak. You good with Ad?” he asked with a playful smile as he caressed the skin on my neck softly.
“Yeah,” I whispered as I turned to look at Adam, who looked way more relaxed than he had for weeks now. “I’m fine,” I nodded.
“Glad to hear that,” he sighed as he leaned in and slammed a kiss against my lips. “About time my asshole brother got his shit together,” he added with a laugh as he pulled back and slapped Adam in the back hard.
“Fuck off before you piss your pants,” Adam threw back with a good natured laugh, and we both watched as Jordan disappeared into the men’s room, laughing to himself quietly.
“How do you feel about cuddling up with me in the car for a while?” Adam asked as he started out into the store area, then right outside, headed for the car.
“I’d like that,” I told him as a deep yawn escaped me.
“You need to eat something and drink some water before you sleep again. You look exhausted. I’m worried about you,” he told me more seriously.
“You’re not the only one,” I sighed as I lowered my gaze from his, feeling completely embarrassed at the insane way I was behaving.
“We’re going to get you through this, all of us. No one is ever going to let you drown, baby.” I nodded, even though I was pretty sure it was getting too late for anyone to stop that from happening. My guys, my brothers – they would always be there for me and I knew that, but they would be waging a losing war if I had no strength left within for me to be able to fight for myselftoo, and I was pretty sure that was the case right then. Even if I could find the strength needed, I was just so sick and tired of having to fight. Did I really want to go on if all it would ever be was me surviving one nightmare to the next, over, and over until the darkness became so thick within me that I was desperate for it to just pull me under and end it all?
CHAPTER 23
ADDY
“Home, sweet home,” Eli announced loudly, rousing me from where I was dozing in Adam’s lap. We hadn’t stopped again over the last few hours, which I was glad about, since leaving the car and the safety of Jordan’s arms earlier had been overwhelming for me, as messed up as I was.
I knew Adam had to be stiff and sore, since he had refused to let me go for the last several hours, but I had been relieved to be sat against him as I had. As messed up as my thoughts were – jumbled and going to some very dark places – my mind was also eased to know Adam still loved me and wanted to be with me. I’d felt safe and settled sleeping against him and I was actually a little disappointed to be home, knowing I’d have to leave that safety.
“We’re here, baby,” Adam told me gently as he leaned down and kissed the top of my head. I opened my eyes and looked up at him, unable to stop my lips from tipping up in a smile when I saw how relaxed and at ease he looked as he watched me.
“Now you get to do the pins and needles walk,” Jordan chuckled as he unfastened his seatbelt from where he sat right beside us.
I looked up at the house as everyone started to get out of the huge rental car, which Kane had leased from somewhere. It looked just the way we left it, even the snow still covering thedrive before it. My eyes automatically moved to the step where Adam had been shot and tears filled my eyes as I looked to him once again.
“Looking forwards, remember?” he told me, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking.
“I’m not sure I’ll ever forget you lying there,” I rasped through my tight throat.
“I’m right here, Addy. I came through it and so did you. Forget me lying there and feel me holding you as we walk back into our home together.” I took a deep breath as his words sank in. He was right. He survived that bullet. I needed to try not to allow the darkness to drag me back, and instead try to look to now and the future.Yeah right. Like the future is going to be any brighter.I flinched as the dark thought invaded my calmness. I reached up to wrap my arms around Adam’s shoulders, plastering myself against his front once again. I truly was losing control of my mind and it terrified me.