Page 74 of Forever Found

“My nightmare,” I whispered as I turned my head against my knees so I could look at Kane. He was in his chair beside me, but he had his elbows resting on his knees, his face in his hands. “In the car, yesterday. I was back in that warehouse…in that cage. A man came in. He…he was looking for someone. He picked me and I was ripped out of the cage. I was s-so scared,” I squeaked as emotion clogged my throat. Kane lifted his head and wrapped his hand around my bare ankle in support. “The man, he grabbed me, pressed my back against his front and told me he was going to enjoy himself with me. He….he t-touched me…hurt me, but it was nothing compared to what he’d do when he got me to whatever room he was going to take me to.”

“Addy…”

“You know who he was, Kane?” I asked, cutting him short before he could say anything. I didn’t even give Kane time to respond. “Max. Max Kline. He was in the warehouse where I know for a fact I was held. The guards in the nightmare were the same ones there with me in the memories I already recalled. I recognized the girls around me, but Max? I…I don’t know if that part was real. I don’t know if that bastard hurt me too, or if my brain just put him there because of what Asher had told me before. I d-don’t know if that was a memory, or just a nightmare, Kane. I don’t know what’s real and what isn’t. I n-never will, will I? I could be walking down the street ten years from now, thinking it’s all in the past, and then recognize a man. I might just know him from a party, or a TV commercial or anything, but all I’m going to think is, is he just another monster who hurt me in those years? It…it will never end! It can’t, because I can’t remember everything, and even if I could, how would I really know it was everything? I still don’t even know what happened to Hilton! I don’t know if I sh-shot him!” I cried brokenly. “I…I love you too…all of you, and of course I don’t want to give up and let the darkness win, but I can’t live that way. I don’t want to live that way!”

“Fuck!” Kane gasped as he jumped on the bed and so easily lifted me into his arms, pressing me hard against him as he set me down in his lap. “Sshh angel. I’ve got you. I’ve got you now,” he soothed as I lifted my head and pressed it against his smooth black shirt, sobbing all of my broken out, right there for him to see.

“I’m scared,” I blubbered.

“Me too,” he replied. “And I don’t have all the answers. I don’t know how you keep going, but I’m asking you to anyway, Addy, because I’m a selfish prick. I don’t want to live in a world withoutyou in it. I need you to fight, for me and for Adam, and Jordan, For your brothers. Fight for us if you can’t do it for yourself, because we need you. We need you so fucking much,” he pleaded as he held me so tight I could barely breathe.

I didn’t speak. I couldn’t. He was asking too much of me, and yet I never wanted to let him down. I never wanted to fail any of them. He’d fought dirty asking me to fight for all of them, because it was something I wasn’t so easily able to deny him. Giving up for my sake was easy done, but giving up when they’d asked me to fight felt like something I really wasn’t sure I could do, no matter how much it fucking hurt to have that glimpse of a possible peace taken from me.

A cry burst from me as pain filled me at what I already knew I had to do. Giving up had been the easy way out - the cowards way too, I was sure – but I had wanted the peace more than I had ever wanted anything. I was done with being hurt and broken again and again. I was done with the endless struggle to survive that my life had been, and I was starting to think I was good with that decision, but that was being taken from me.

I couldn’t do it when I knew how much it would hurt my brothers, and the men I was madly in love with. I couldn’t stop fighting when they were all so desperate for me to keep hanging on. I wasn’t that selfish, even if I wanted to be.

“Angel…” Kane whispered against my ear, and a shudder ran through me.

“Kane,” I whispered back as I turned my head and crashed my lips down over his so hard I was sure I’d cut the inside of my lip, but it didn’t matter in that second. I needed relief. I needed a break from the mess inside of me. I needed to feel.

I kissed him almost manically as I ripped my arms free of his hold, banded around me, and grabbed at his shoulders, his neck, his hair, anything to try and sate the me desperation for the pain and ache inside of me to just be taken away. To feel something other than panic and fear.

“Addy! Addy, slow down!” Kane gasped as he tried to pull away from my assault on him. I tried to follow, not wanting to stop, but he placed a hand on my shoulder and held me back. “We need to slow way down, okay? There’s no rush to do this.”

“No!” I cried as tears prickled my eyes. “Please Kane. Please! I need this. I…I need to feel something good. I need to feel peace and calm a-and safe. Please make me feel something good!” I cried.

“You’re upset,” he sighed.

“I know what I want. Please Kane. I just need some peace, and I know I’ll feel that. I know you’ll make me feel that when our bodies are pressed together, as close as two people can be. I want to feel alive again,” I begged.

“You’re sure?” he asked as he looked to be in pain with the battle raging within.

“Yes. Completely sure. I love you.”

“I love you too, and I’m gonna fucking show you how much,” he growled as he lifted me from his lap and got to his feet. I wrapped myself around him, resting my arms on his shoulders and reaching up to crash my lips down over his again. I couldn’t get enough of him as I frantically kissed him, my hands desperately running through his soft, short hair. This time he kissed me back just as ferociously as he pressed me hard against his rock hard, chiseled body. All of my fears, doubts, worries andanxiety fled as I lost myself in this man beneath me. In Kane. I was safe with him and I knew it. I could never drown in the ever raging darkness within, as long as he held me the way he was.

We went crashing into the bathroom, the door smashing hard into the wall behind it as Kane aggressively thrust it open. He leaned in to set the shower running, then he moved his kisses to my neck and back up behind my ear as he worked one handed to strip me of the sweater and t-shirt I wore in one fast movement. I wasn’t wearing a bra, so I found myself pressed into his arms in nothing but my panties, but I didn’t even consider my scars as I once again kissed him with everything in me, not wanting the bond between us to be broken more that it had to be.

I protested with a whine when Kane dropped me to my feet on the cold tile floor, but an end was quickly put to that when Kane dropped to his knees and sucked my right nipple into his mouth. I threw my head back and groaned in delight as he alternated between my breasts, placing kisses around my nipple, alternated with soft sucks and gentle nibbles on my nipples. My panties disappeared as I grabbed his head and pressed him to my chest, needing more.

“So fucking amazing,” he gasped as he pulled back and rose to his feet. “You’re even sexier than I dreamed you’d be,” he went on as he unfasted the fly of his jeans and dropped them to the floor.

“No underwear,” I remarked in shock, as he stood before me now completely naked. I reached out a hand and ran it slowly down the deep lines of muscle across his chest and down his abs. He had that ‘v’ that women always seemed to covet in the romance novels I read, and now I finally got why. It was so sexy.

“I got dressed in a rush when we left here to come to you,” he told me, but I was barely even listening as my eyes raked over the perfection of his body. “Eyes are up here, pretty girl,” he chuckled after a moment and I snapped my eyes to his as a blush spread over my cheeks.

“I’m your girlfriend. I get to look,” I told him with a dramatic pout.

“Later,” he told me with a smile. “Right now I need you against me,” he added as he wrapped his hands around my hips and lifted me back into his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist and I could feel the hardness of his erection beneath me.

“I want you Kane, right now. I need you,” I whispered as he walked us both under the warm spray of the shower. I looped my arms around his neck and kissed him more slowly this time, taking my time and enjoying the way he always took control and made it even hotter.

“Have you done this before, with the others?” he asked as he pulled back and looked seriously into my face. I blushed again as panic filled me about what I should say.

“Answer me, Addy. I’m not going to be jealous. I just want to know where you’re at,” he assured me.

“With Jordan,” I nodded. “Adam and I messed around a little, but we didn’t…you know,” I stuttered, definitely glowing bright red by now.