Page 138 of The Scientist

“No,” I said, letting out a small sigh. “I think I want to be alone.”

He nodded, and I knew he understood why.

After Stuart left, I spent the evening stewing over everything they had told me. I didn’t want to be the reason he didn’t take this job. I knew he would regret it. His team had given him so much, followed him across the country, even. They deserved this just as much as he did. Our relationship shouldn’t be the reason he was holding everyone, including himself, back. I would have to talk to him about it. I just wasn’t sure if he was going to listen.

???

“Did Jace tell you what’s going on?” I asked Sarah the next day when we met for coffee at Peet’s.

"He just told me this morning,” she answered. “He said they got an offer to work in Sweden, but he doesn’t want to go.”

Surprise flickered through me. “Really?”

“He said he and Lex are the only ones who don’t want to take the job,” she said. “And then he told me that even if Lex changes his mind, he still doesn’t think he’s going to go.”

“This is all so fucked up,” I said, bringing my hands to my hair. “I don’t want Lex to go either, but this is such a huge opportunity for them. I don’t want to be the reason he doesn’t take it.”

“I know.” She nodded. “I told Jace the same thing. I said we could make it work and that phone sex is a personal favorite of mine.”

I laughed at her method of trying to convince him. It was especially funny since Sarah had worked as a phone sex operator on the weekends back in college to make extra cash. “Audio erotic performer” is what she’d called it. Funny as it was, she was actually really good at it. She would walk around our dorm doing dishes or folding laundry, all while spewing absolute filth. She could have written a dissertation on dirty talk. I teased herendlessly about it, but unlike me, she walked away from college debt-free.

“I don’t know,” I said. “It’s been a while since you’ve had to use your ‘special skills’.”

“It’s not a skill you lose, Hadley,” she said matter-of-factly. “Don’t worry. If they do end up taking this job, I’ll write some things down for you that’ll have Lex on his knees.”

I chuckled. “I don’t even know how to bring this up to him. He clearly didn’t want me to know about it.”

“I think that’s why Jace didn’t seem too worried. He said there was no way in hell Lex was ever going to leave you.”

I sighed. “What have we gotten ourselves into?”

“I blame you,” she retorted. “You set me up with the only guy I’ve actually cared about in almost ten years, and now he might be going away to help your boyfriend save mankind, or whatever the hell they’re doing.”

I paused to look at her before I said, “My bad.”

She stared at me deadpan for a few seconds before we both erupted in laughter. We laughed until tears streamed down our faces. If we were going to be miserable, at least we’d be facing it together.

Chapter 33

When Lex got home a week and a half later, he came straight to my house from the airport, sweeping me up in his arms as soon as he walked through the door.

“I missed you,” he said into my hair before kissing me in a way that sent waves of desire straight through me. I was so happy to see him. I didn’t want to ruin our moment together, so I tried to put everything I’d heard on the back burner.

“Are you hungry?” I pressed my lips to his again. “I made some dinner for you.”

“Yes, starving. Thank you,” he said, smiling. “I just have to send a few emails really quick.”

“Okay, I’ll go heat your food.” I was trying to act normally, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what Nicky had told me.

I knew what the right thing to do was, but I also knew I was going to have a hell of a time convincing him of it. I just needed to reason with him that this wasn’t just about us.

I walked back into the dining room and brought him his plate of lasagna. He thanked me and started telling me all about his trip back home. “…and my mom was crazy about you. All she talked about the whole time was how I better bring you next time I come or don’t bother coming at all.”

“That’s so nice,” I said, chuckling. “I would really love to meet her in person.”

“Well, maybe we can go after the next semester is over. During summer break, if your mom is doing better,” he suggested. “What do you think?”

Crap. I didn’t know if this was the right moment, but I figured it was now or never.