Page 144 of The Scientist
A sharp pressure clamped down on my chest. The words I had feared were now hanging in the air, unbearable and suffocating. His apology only deepened the space between us, making everything feel more absolute. My hands shook as I wiped at the tears spilling down my face.
“When do you leave?” I asked, wondering how much time, if any, we had left together.
The expression on his face told me everything I needed to know—the answer he was about to give was going to be another blow to my already breaking heart.
“In a week.”
I inhaled a sharp breath, feeling my heart fracture with a wound that felt too deep to ever heal.
“I don’t know how I’m going to say goodbye to you knowing it might be forever,” I said, my voice trembling.
He stared at me for a long time, his face a battlefield of emotions. Finally, he whispered, “I’ll never stop loving you, Hadley. What we have… it’s everything I never knew I needed. And I hope like hell that someday, somehow, our paths cross again.”
Before I could respond, before I could beg him to stay one more time, he kissed me. It was slow and aching, filled with everything we couldn’t put into words. When he pulled away, his eyes were red, his face etched with pain.
He turned and walked toward the door, each step feeling like a nail in the coffin of us. When the door finally clicked shut behind him, a dark realization came over me—Not even the deepest, truest kind of love is enough to keep two people together.
Chapter 35
Ileaned my head against the window of the airplane watching as thousands of shimmering lights came into view. There it was… New York City.
It had been almost a year since I’d seen her last. The concrete giants that shaped the city’s skyline looked pencil-thin beneath me. The sun had set, but the city that never sleeps had light blazing from every vantage point, illuminating the night sky, beckoning me home.
I couldn’t believe I was back. The emotions stirring inside me felt both hollow and deep. Memories flooded my mind as the roaring sound of the plane landing on the runway of JFK filled the cabin. The first time I’d ever flown had been with my dad, and it was just a quick flight to the Jersey Shore for summer vacation. Nothing like the cross-country journey I’d just taken from San Francisco to get here.
As I walked the city’s streets, I pulled my coat tighter around my body, the wind whipping across my face. It was drizzling and about thirty degrees out.Welcome to New York!
I finally made it back to my old neighborhood in Greenwich Village, and the soundscape that had been a constant in my life for so long surrounded me once again—bustling crowds, the continual murmur of traffic, the hum of distant sirens, all blending together to sing New York’s distinctive melody. I realized how much I’d missed it.
I took the elevator up to my old apartment before setting my things down and knocking on the door. I’d been subleasing the apartment to Garrett’s sister, Sophie, and she said I could stay with her for the duration of my time here.
I tried knocking again, but no answer. After waiting a few minutes longer, I tried calling Sophie, but it went straight tovoicemail. I didn’t want to barge in, but I also didn’t want to wait out here forever. I fished the keys out from my purse before letting myself in.
“Soph?” I called out. “It’s me.” Still no answer. I heard a rustling sound coming from the bedroom, so I went to investigate.
“Sophie?” I said, pushing the door open slowly and nearly jumping out of my skin when I spotted a man hunched over next to my bed.
I let out a horrified scream, startling the man as he cried out in response.
“Shit, Hadley!” I heard Garrett shout. “You scared me half to death! What are you doing here?”
“Me?!” I said, clutching my chest, waiting for my heart to slow. “What areyoudoing here?”
He stood up, resting his hands on his hips as if trying to catch his breath.
“Sophie called me freaking out,” he explained. “Said she saw a mouse run under the bed and was refusing to go back inside the apartment until it had been apprehended, so I came over to help.”
I let out a long breath. On the upside, at least it wasn’t a bird.
“I’m surprised she didn’t set the house on fire,” I said, remembering the time she nearly fainted during rehearsals when a lizard had crawled onstage.
“Don’t worry. I’m taking the matches with me just in case,” he said, and I smirked.
“So did you catch it?” I asked.
“Not yet. I was putting a few traps out when you came in,” he answered. “Sorry I scared you. Sophie didn’t tell me you were coming.”
I wasn’t surprised. It was a sore subject, and we usually avoided talking about her brother anytime we spoke.