Page 151 of The Scientist
Life had gone right back to the way it had been before I left for New York—work, doctor’s appointments, hanging out at my mom’s, and most notably, no word from Lex.I considered talking to my mom about me possibly moving back to New York, but I wanted to wait until she was further along in her recovery. Until then, my plan was just to keep going through the motions of living, hoping like hell she didn’t notice how unhappy I’d been.
“Hadley, look at me.”
I put down my fork and turned to look at her.
“I know you think you have to be here to take care of me, but I’m fine. Better than fine, actually. My appetite’s returning, and I’m starting to have more energy. I’m really beginning to feel like my old self again. The only thing that isn’t doing well in my life is you.”
“Gee, thanks,” I mumbled.
“You know what I mean,” she said.
“No, I don’t,” I stated plainly. “What are you trying to say?”
“That you don’t have to stay here for me,” she answered. “I finished my last chemo treatment months ago. You don’t have to be here to babysit me anymore.”
“You’re far from being ready to start running marathons, Mom.”
“I’m not saying that,” she replied. “But if you haven’t noticed, I’ve got a really great partner now. Carl is more than willing to pick up any slack. We’ve actually been talking about moving in together.”
“What?” This was the first time in weeks I actually felt like smiling. “Really?”
“It just makes sense. We’re always together. It’s just not practical to keep up two mortgages.”
“Practical… right,” I said, feeling that unfamiliar sensation of my face breaking into a smile.
“I want you to be happy, my sweet girl. Youdeserveto be happy,” she said. “You need to go there and make this right with him.”
My face fell. “I don’t think he wants to make this right. He won’t even talk to me.”
“That man is in love with you. Living in a different country didn’t change anything except for making the two of you miserable.”
I kept my eyes lowered. “I don’t know.”
“Think about this for one second. If the situation were reversed and god forbid, you were the one who was sick,” she said. “Once you started to get better, would you want me watching over you day after day, wasting away with unhappiness, especially if you had Lex by your side to take care of you?”
When she put it that way… No, I wouldn’t want that. I could see exactly the point she was trying to make, but it still didn’t sit right with me.
“If the situation were reversed, you wouldn’t want to leave my side either.”
“That’s true,” she confirmed. “But I’m the mom, so you have to do what I say.”
We both started to laugh. Our relationship had never been that way. We’d always made decisions together and this wasn’t any different.
“Go to him, Hadley,” she encouraged. “Don’t let it bend so far that it breaks.”
I choked on the words that were threatening to spill out. I didn’t want to confess to her that I was afraid it may already be broken.
???
A few days later, I got a call from Stuart. I hadn’t heard from him in weeks, and I hurried to pick it up.
“Hadley, hey,” he said with an urgent tone. “I’m sorry to call you like this, but I didn’t know what else to do.”
“What’s wrong?” I asked anxiously.
“It’s Lex…”
My heart slammed in my chest. “Is he okay?”