Page 78 of The Scientist
“You what?” he asked, his eyes narrowing a bit.
“Your friend, Merrick—” I started to try and explain myself, but he cut me off.
“Yeah, I know who he is,” he said curtly. “What was he doing out tonight?”
“He was the bartender at one of the bars we went to. He said he was working there on weekends to make extra money,” I explained. His entire body appeared tense. “Anyway, he asked me to dance… So we did... but just for one song.” Apparently, I was unable to stop more words from spewing as I dug myself deeper into the hole.
“Is that all you did?” His voice was eerily calm.
“Yes! Of course!” I said, a little insulted that he would even have to ask. The tension around his eyes softened a little.
“Are you interested in him?” he asked, sounding accusatory.
“What? No!” I said defiantly.
“Because he’s definitely interested in you… along with all the others. Jace, Peter, Dan, Zack from La Caretta. Just take your pick.”
What was he implying? For the second time tonight, it felt like I was being called a slut by the man standing in front of me.
“I’m not interested in any of them.” I was actively trying to rein in my temper. “I’m going home alone, just like I always do. Not sure you can say the same.” I looked up the staircase toward his bedroom, wondering if Nicky was there between his sheets. The thought made my stomach roll.
“There’s no one up there,” he said.
“You sure? Pink seemed to be your favorite color tonight.” The alcohol was making the filter between my brain and mouth nonexistent.
His eyes sharpened. “I told you it’s not like that anymore.”
“Whatever you say. It’s none of my business anyway.” But there was a small part of my heart that was elated to hear him say it. It wasn’t enough to make me forget what he’d just said about me and all the guys I could get with as the anger burned through me once again. This whole conversation had been anexhausting dance of sidestepping landmines, and I could feel how close we were to an explosion. It was like being on an emotional roller coaster, one that I desperately wanted to get off of.
I was suddenly physically and emotionally spent from this entire night. The only thought going through my mind at the moment was getting out of this ridiculous outfit so I could crawl into bed and be blissfully unaware of all my problems for the next eight to ten hours.
“Look, can we just pretend this night never happened so we can get back to being friends again?” I asked, deciding that was probably best. It wasn’t at all what I wanted, but clearly, something wasn’t working between us. He hesitated to answer, looking as if he wanted to say something more.
“Sure,” he finally said, sounding as defeated as I felt. “Whatever you want.”
Chapter 18
“Are you going to tell me what’s been going on with you?” my mom asked, picking up on my sour mood as we waited in the exam room for Dr. Gremillion. It had been a few weeks since that awful night, and things between Lex and I had changed dramatically. I still had dinner with them most evenings, but he seemed resigned to keep things cordial and nothing more. If anything was going on between us before that night, it was officially dead in the water now. That realization was weighing on me a lot more than I ever thought it would.
“Nothing’s going on. I’m just tired,” I answered.
“You know you can tell me,” she said, clearly not believing me. “I promise to keep my opinions to myself.”
I grinned. “I don’t know if you’re physically capable of that,” I replied, and she narrowed her eyes at me.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to tell her. I just knew the moment I said it out loud, I would have to admit to myself that things were over, and I wasn’t ready.
“Hello, ladies,” Dr. Gremillion said, entering the room with my mom’s chart.
“Hey doc,” my mom greeted. “How’s everything looking?”
I waited for his usual “things are looking great” speech that he’d given each time we’d come before, but my heart sank as he paused before looking up at us.
“I’ll cut right to the chase. Your numbers look worrisome this month, Ms. Olivier. They had been on a steady decline since we began the treatment, which is what we expected to see,” he stated. “But now they’ve more than doubled in a month’s time. I’m afraid the chemo has stopped working.”
My mind and body no longer felt connected. I seemed to be having trouble staying grounded in the room and in reality itself. It felt like a dream… a bad one that I’d wake up from any moment now.
“We can try upping the dosage and frequency of the chemo, but the reality is your body has stopped responding to it.” I stared at him, waiting for him to say this was some colossal joke. “Your cancer is so rare that most of the other traditional treatment options would just be a Band-Aid for the larger problem at hand. There isn’t much else we can do at this point.”