Page 100 of Just One Moment
Rollingback over,Iaccept the call. “Hello?”
“Hey,Quinn.It’sRickyfrom the garage.”
“Oh, hi,Ricky.”Iclear my throat.Myeyes haven’t leftGraham’sbut at the sound of the mechanic’s name, his body pulls taut, and he goes to speak before snapping his mouth shut.
“Ihope you guys had a goodThanksgiving.Goodnews!Thevan is ready to be picked up.”
Irub at my eyes, but maybeIshould clean out my ears. “Sorry,ready?Canyou not keep it at the shop anymore?I’llhave the money together soon, but if you need me to pay for storage?—”
“What?No.DidGrahamnot tell you?”
Confusionhas me sitting up. “No, he didn’t.What’shappening?”Itake inGraham’storn expression and barely hearRicky’sreply.
“Yourman paid for everything.Andthen some.Sorry,Ithought you knew.IhopeIdidn’t ruin some big surprise.Anyway,I’llbe here until five today if you want to swing by and get her.Callme if there are any issues.”
“Okay, will do.”Myvoice is robotic and when the call ends, my hand falls to the plush bedding. “Youdidn’t?”
Thisgoes way beyond baking me a cake or buying me flowers.Thecost of fixing the van was already pushing four thousand dollars.Idon’t want to imagine what thisthen somemeans.
“Hewas supposed to callme.”He’sannoyed and avoiding the real question here.Withrigid shoulders and clenched fists, he stares at the ground.
Irise from the bed, still naked, but wrap myself in my robe before taking a timid step toward him. “Do-do you want me to leave?”
Hishead shoots up, eyes wide. “Ofcourse not.”Mybody relaxes, but he’s still unsure as he shifts in place and rubs at the back of his neck. “Itwas going to be a gift forChristmas.”
“Thisis too much.Ican’t accept this.Notafter everything you’ve done for me.Youdon’t have to keep doing these things for me.”Itake another step.
“Ido.”
“Why?”
Hisfingers drag through his hair, almost knocking his glasses off.Theneed to know what’s going on in that head of his becomes too much. “Graham, please look at me.”Whenhe finally does, the crushed expression on his face stops me in my tracks. “Tellme what you’re thinking.Don’tsit with your thoughts whenI’mhere to listen.”
Hehasn’t struggled with words in front of me for so long.Eventhen it was because of nerves.Thisis something completely different.Thedefeated, broken tone of his voice is enough to send me crashing to my knees. “Sincewe met,I’venever understood how a relationship between us could work—let alone a fake one.Ithought that maybe ifIfixed your van or bought you gifts you wouldn’t see what she did.ThenafterIheard you speaking withJenna...”
“Doyou thinkIbelieve her?”
Hisresponse is immediate. “It’sone of my biggest fears.”
Myanger from last night returns with a vengeance.I’malso riddled with disbelief that he’d thinkI’dbelieve anything she had to say.
“Everythingshesaid last night was foul and the furthest thing from the truth.”Myvoice cracks. “Idon’t need gifts,Graham,Ikeep telling you this.I’mhere becauseIwant to be.Forgetthe flowers, the cake, the boots.I’mhere for you.Butright now, it feels like you’re pushing me away.”
Thelast word is barely out of my mouth before he’s crowding me, enveloping me in his arms. “No.No.Fuck.I’vespent all night reassuring myself you don’t believe her.Ipanicked afterIsaw you two talking.Thelast thingIwant to do is push you away, it’s just…Idon’t understand.”
Ipeer up at him. “Understandwhat?”
Hehesitates, discomfort pulling his features tight. “Howyou can love me.”
Thesplintering of my heart is practically audible.
SinceI’vemet him,I’veknown he doesn’t see himself in the same light as others do.Hesecond-guesses himself, and his words, or worries he’s done the wrong thing.Witheach day we’ve spent together, he’s gained confidence and become more sure of himself.
Noneof the people who love him want him any differently.
Yethe still can’t see that.
“Don’ttalk like that.Likewe didn’t just spend the most incredible couple of months together.Takeaway the gifts and the acts of kindness and you still make me so incredibly happy.”Icup his cheek, forcing him to look at me. “Doyou remember what you said to me after my mom called?Yousaid, ‘You’reexactly how you should be; and that is perfect.’Iwould never want to change you, not likeher.Butif there is one thingIwant you to do differently, it’s for you to love yourself the way your family loves you.Theway…”ThetearsI’vebeen holding back break through the dam. “ThewayIlove you.”