Page 17 of Save You
“My periods have been all over the place since that illness, and I guess I have been eating one too many pies,” I tell him, to which he shakes his head and almost laughs. “But truthfully, as soon as he said it, I wasn’t too surprised.”
Xander places two of his fingers up to his lips and stares out of the windscreen for a moment or two, his actions making his feelings no clearer for my poor, pounding heart to take comfort in. Inside, my whole body is a bag of crazy, just waiting to explode with anxiety and manic hysteria. However, I keep them in check, enough to let me whisper, “Are you mad at me?”
“God, no!” He turns toward me with such speed I’m certain he must have just pulled something. His eyes look almost angry with himself for letting me think such a thing. Before I can say anything else, he pulls me onto his lap and wraps his arms tightly around my much smaller body. “I just…I don’t know what to say! We’re both so young, you have a crazy cult leader after you, and I’m now wanted for abducting the mother of my child. It’s hardly the perfect time, but I’m not mad at you,” he pauses to kiss my head, “not at all!”
I silently let tears of relief fall, even though we’re still in a difficult situation, but to have his support and love is enough to calm my whirling thoughts of fear and anxiety. We stay still in our embrace for what seems like hours, or at least until my tears have dried up. I guess neither of us wants to break apart and deal with the growing storm all around us.
“You know,” I begins as I grin against his warm body, “they say there’s never a right time to have a baby.”
He pushes me away a little to give an incredulous look before we both burst into laughter over how ridiculous that statement was. Eventually, however, we decide to haul our exhausted bodies inside for some much-needed sustenance, knowing that we will have to get moving before we run the risk of Mayfield catching up with us.
My ripped dress isn’t exactly the look we want to be attracting at the moment, so I change into some old jeans and a black hoody. An outfit to cover my head and hide my identity from people who may have caught the local news bulletins.
Once inside, we order breakfast and make a silent agreement to leave our worries behind us, even if it’s just for half an hour. Chaos might be raining down all around us outside of this highway diner, but inside, we are just a normal teenage couple out for a breakfast date, madly in love and looking sickly sweet in front of all the other diners. We play the role well, with even the waitress gushing over us, as well as frequently telling Xander how cute we are together.
When our personal fan club has walked back behind the counter, Xander smiles softly with warmth in his eyes, an image I will pocket for rainy days. He then reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out something small and silver. My initial frown turns into a wide, unapologetic grin as soon as I realize what it is that he has clasped between his finger and thumb; it’s my Christmas present, my ring. My emotions get the better of me, and his pushing it onto my finger only gives me permission to emit a loud sob that draws the attention of those around us. They may as well be blurs, though, as I snuggle into him that little bit harder before we have to leave.
Despite Xander’s unwarranted concerns over my driving, I eventually manage to convince him to crawl into the back and have a lie-down. His instructions were clear, simple, and left no room for mistake, in that he basically told me to stay on this road for the foreseeable. An easy direction to follow, if not completely monotonous. Unfortunately, it’s all too easy to think about all the shit we’re having to wade through and to let your mind wander into thewhat-ifs. I frequently have to remind myself that no one other than Xander and his uncle, is aware of where we’re going, not even me. It’s a solid plan, one that leaves no room for Oliver to torture out of people. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was beyond petrified of everything.
When I put the radio on, news of my disappearance blares through the speakers every five minutes. It’s not surprising, Oliver would be more than capable, as well as resourceful enough, to keep people shouting about my disappearance over the public radio waves. His voice plays on repeat, telling his audience how happy we both were, how we were readying ourselves to get married and live happily ever after. He then goes onto talk about Xander and how he was obsessed with me, how he was an ex-boyfriend who was unable to accept that we were now over, and I had moved on. It’s enough to make me punch the steering wheel a few times, then curse myself over the self-inflicted pain to my knuckles.
The words ‘mentally unstable’, ‘obsessed’, and ‘dangerous’ are thrown around to describe the boy currently lying fetal on the back seat, and I hate myself for it. Xander could be at home playing Xbox, surfing, or sparring with his sister. Instead, he’s stuck in a worn-out car, carting his pregnant girlfriend across the country to escape a clan of powerful and dangerous men, who are now after the both of us.
The dull, familiar ring of an old mobile phone begins chiming from the back seat where Xander is now beginning to stir. Panic hits me fast and hard as I try to consider all the possibilities of who might be calling us and why. Xander brings the screen right up to his sleeping eyes and furrows his brow over the number, right before answering it with a muffled “Hello”.
“Pull over, Beth.” He coughs, clearing his throat as he gestures toward a safe place for me to stop. “Hey, yeah, she’s right here with me…she’s good, all good.”
As soon as I hear him laughing softly with whoever it is on the phone, my panic starts to ebb away, and in its place, anticipation seeps in. He smiles with eyes full of relief as he passes over the phone and rubs at my wrist before eventually falling back onto the rear seat again. My hands had grabbed the phone greedily but now I find myself having to take in a few deep breaths before I feel ready enough to place it to my ear.
“Hi, Mum,” I eventually whisper, hardly able to make myself heard through the lump inside of my throat that is threatening to erupt if I don’t use all my energy to keep it together.
“Beth, are you alright?” she asks, which, unfortunately, tips me over the edge into tears, snot and sounds akin to a snuffling pig.
“Yes,” I whimper, though I’m shaking my head at the same time. In truth, I’m completely at a loss as to how I really feel, for there is no one emotion to name whatever is going on inside of my head.
“I’m ok, I’m ok, I’m ok,” I sob before I feel a hand pulling at my arm, gesturing for me to go back and join him so I can at least fall apart with company. It doesn’t take much persuading to sink inside of his arms, to have him try and hold me together.
“Oh, Beth,” my mother sighs sympathetically, but with an edge of frustration. I know it will be killing her to not be here with me, to comfort her only daughter who is now on the other side of the world to her. “Did he hurt you? Did he-”
“No, no!” I shake her words off, not wanting them to be said out loud. It’s too awful to say or to think, yet, it could have so easily happened if it weren’t for Doctor Sawyer and Bodhi. I feel Xander squeeze me a little tighter, cursing under his breath as he does so.
“He was going to, but then Bodhi caused an explosion, and his attention was taken elsewhere.”
“Oh, thank God!” she says, blowing out a long-held breath of relief. There’s a muffled exchange of whispered words from her end, but I cannot make out what is being said. “Listen, Beth, your father would really like to talk to you. Please? For me?”
Xander looks at me, having heard every word my mother just said, but he offers me nothing but support for whatever I decide to do. He’s my father and it’s my decision as to whether I let him back inside my heart or not. I cup his cheek, silently thanking him for being so unlike the men back at Mayfield; I love him all the more for it. As for Dad, I knew he’d get mum back on side again, however, part of me is slowly beginning to forgive him. The part that knows that this was all beyond his control anyway, so perhaps it’s time for me to finally let him back in again.
“Ok,” I murmur, still not being entirely sure about how I feel about it.
“Beth, oh, thank God, Beth!” This is perhaps only the third time I’ve heard my father cry, and it cuts straight through my heart to bear witness to it now. There’s something deeply unsettling about your father breaking down in front of you. I guess I’ve always seen mine as the strong protector of the family, the man who would run through oncoming traffic to save me.
“Hi, Dad,” I respond, “it’s been a while since we last talked.”
“I know,” he sobs, “and it’s all my fault!”
“Not so much, apparently,” I laugh softly, but it’s fake and only there to cover my own whimpering. “You can’t help who you’re related to. Turns out you’re the son of some evil, old, cult leader!”
“I didn’t know, Beth, I swear I never knew!” he begs me to believe him, and I do. “You think I would have moved us to the States if I had known? Your grandmother had already lost her mind to her disease by the time we had moved out there. Every time I came back to see her, I talked about the States, but she said nothing back. She would just go silent.”