Page 46 of Kisses

Chapter 16

Sullivan

Last night was quiet. We talked a bit, but she ended up leaving earlier than normal. You could tell her my mind was all over the place. I just hope it’s not me filling her mind with worry.

Class is about to start. Kandace is already sitting in her spot. However, there is no Lyla. That is unusual. I walk over to Kandace. In my professor's voice, I ask, “Where is Ms. Keaton?”

Kandace shrugs, “I don’t know. She is never late or misses class.”

She looks just as worried as I am feeling. Kandace pulls out her phone. I signal her that it's okay to text Lyla. She starts to text. It is time for class to start, and I need to get the class going on their lecture. I wonder why Lyla is not here.

When class is over, Kandace comes up to me. She states, “I didn’t hear back from her. I don’t know what’s up with her. I’m sorry.”

I answer, “It’s fine.”

“Sorry,” Kandace says as she walks out of the classroom.

I know Lyla has been off but not like this. I am beyond concerned for her. Last night, she was so unlike herself. Everything was off. I knew something was wrong. When we had sex, it felt like goodbye. Apparently, it was.

I pack up my laptop and other stuff, and head to my office on the same floor. My mind is all over the place. First thing I am going to do is call her and make sure she’s okay. I just don’t have a good feeling about this. The same feeling of being on edge is quite extensive.

I open the door to the professors’ office area. I look in my mailbox and walk to my office. I pull out the key and open the door. Walking into my office, I step on a piece of paper. That is odd. Normally, if my students are turning papers in, they put it in my mailbox. I bend over to pick it up and look to see who it’s from. It is from Lyla.

Dear Sullivan,

I am not sure how to write this. I never knew what love was until I met you. All my life, I grew up thinking love was only given to you from your parents. I never dated. Rarely, did I have interest in seeing someone past a few ‘hang outs’. It was always about the sex for me. I never took the time to explore what love is.

When I met you, I knew I was extremely attracted to you. I just wanted you for sex, and that, you gave me very well. I left you speechless the next day. Then life had to be funny. You showed up in my life again, but this time, as my professor. You treated me like shit. I questioned if you were angry with me for one-nighting you before you one-nighted me. That wasn’t the case. You were pushing me to be a better reporter.

The day I confronted you about everything changed my life completely. The bickering, the tension, and the chemistry between us was undeniable. I lost myself within you. From then on, we kept a secret.

You became more than just a secret rendezvous. You became a part of my life. You encouraged me to see my potential. You helped me realize that I can be loved and that I can love. We hid our love. However, you made sure not to hide it when we were together. Your kisses you planted all over my body made me giggle. You getting up the next morning to make me breakfast in bed. I told you not to waste money on flowers, so you bought me fake flowers. When I was frustrated with writing a piece on the infamous silent killer, you walked me through that trauma and helped me heal. I cannot thank you enough.

I love you so much! I just can’t go on with this secret anymore. I want us to love freely. Sex in your office is exhilarating BUT I am tired of being afraid of getting caught. We both have so much to lose if our affair is exposed. I can’t let that happen to you and everything you have worked so hard for. Selfishly, I don’t want to transfer. I am so close to graduating.

I am sorry. This is done. Being in secret is not enough anymore. Don’t bother to contact me.

Thank you for loving me,

Lyla Keaton

My body becomes engulf in flames. She ended it with a damn letter. Who the fucks do that? Why couldn’t she just talk to me? I know why. She knows I would try to convince her not to. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I crumble up her note and throw it across my office. I sit down in my chair, cup my face and sigh.

Frustration and heartbreak consume me. I have never loved a woman like I do her. She is my everything. I tried my best to make sure she knew that. I guess it wasn’t enough. When she finally told me she loves me, she told me in her breakup note. I never got to hear it from her own mouth. I knew she did. I was patient with the fact she struggled with that. I knew, in time, she would feel comfortable. I didn’t expect her to tell me in a note. This is gut wrenching.

I have to figure out a plan to bring her back. She is all I have ever wanted and needed. No one else is her. I cannot believe she left me.