Page 47 of Kisses

Chapter 17

Lyla

Yeah, I broke up with him in a damn letter. My cowardly ass couldn’t break up with him face to face. I knew it was going to be hard, extremely hard. Sullivan was my first love. I had no clue that love could be so wonderful and so heartbreaking at the same time. I wish we would’ve met in different areas of our lives. I know we couldn’t help the force that brought us together. I just hope I don’t regret what I just did.

I skipped class on Friday because I was just a pile of emotional goo. Today, I will have to face him. I am nervous as fuck. It is going to be so awkward.

Kandace waited for me after her last class to provide some kind of support when we walk into class. Thank God, I have her. I am not sure I would be able to finish the semester if it were just me.

Kandace looks at me and asks, “Are you ready for this?”

I sigh, “Not so much.”

“I figured as much. But you have to face the music.”

“It’s going to be so awkward.”

“Pretty much,” Kandace concludes.

We arrive at our class together. I take another deep breath. We walk in.

Sullivan is standing by the podium. He glances up at me, not once but twice. I can see the sadness in his face. I sense he wants to say something to me but we both know he can’t. However, this look of somber explains it all. I feel like absolutely shit right now. Maybe, I should have waited until the end of the semester. Who am I kidding? My mind was made up. My heart was hurting. Now, it’s demolished. This is the bed I made and now, I must lie in it. I take another big sigh.

Kandace and I walk to our seats in the back of the classroom. The clock hits 2:30 pm and class begins.

My mind was absolutely everywhere during our lecture. I tried my hardest not to look at him. Fuck, I tried my hardest not to break down and cry. Trust me, I want to. However, a strong female must stay strong. All crying will be behind closed doors. Imagine that, just like our relationship. This is so difficult. I never wanted a relationship. This heartbreak solidifies why I need to stay away for good.

Class ends. I start to pack up my notes and put them in my backpack. I get up and follow behind Kandace, praying he is not going to notice me but I know he is going to. The heaviness of this breakup is smashing my soul alive. I just want to run out this door and never come back. If it didn’t affect my future, I would totally do it. Realistically, that is a dumb idea.

Kandace and I walk by Professor James. He comments, “I would like to talk with you, Ms. Keeton.”

Both Kandace and I stop and stare at each other. Kandace comments, “I can wait outside for you.”

Professor James states, “There is no need for that. Just leave.”

Kandace looks at me confused. My brows furrow. I nod for her to go ahead and leave. I turn to Professor James.

He demands, “Please shut the door.”

I swallow and do as I am told.

Once the door is closed, he goes on a rant, “A fucking note? You gotta be kidding.”

I wasn’t prepared for this confrontation. My lack of experience in the relationship department is going to show for sure. I stand quietly, letting him say what he has to say.

He continues, “Lyla, I know our situation was unique. But a fucking note? Who does that? High schoolers do. I should’ve known. You’re not far out of high school.”

He runs his hand through his hair and sighs, “Just like that. You broke up with me. The best part of all of this is your coward ass told me you loved me in a note.” He shakes his head.

I endure all of his emotions erupting from his soul. I deserve all of this. He’s right, I should have had the balls to say it face to face. Unfortunately, it’s too late for that now.

Quietly, I say, “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry? I risked my fucking career to be with you. If we would’ve gotten caught, you could’ve moved on with your life. My career would be tarnished. I took that risk knowing what I had in front of me. It was you. I can’t believe you. Your lack of experience with any kind of emotion is very evident.”

I plea, “Sully, I’m…”

“DO NOT call me Sully. From here on out, I’m Professor James to you. Whatever we had together, it is non-existent. We will finish this semester and never see each other again. Lastly, don’t worry about your grade. I will still grade you fair just like your peers. You must leave now,” he demands while pointing to the door.