Page 34 of Renegade
“I just need a change.” I hope they just leave it at that, because there is no way I’m ready to talk about New York.
“You came back a totally different person. I’d love to meet your friend and see what kind of magic she does,” Jessica says and they all laugh. I manage a small smile.
As we eat, I become more comfortable with them. I knew they were funny and outgoing, but I guess I didn’t realize how nice they were. I feel like I’ve known them forever and that we’ve hung out a million times. The longer we sit and talk, the more excited I get with the possibilities of being able to do anything I want after Hank and I break up.
After eating we drive to the bar and I can’t believe I’ve lived here most of my life and I’ve never been to any of the bars. Christ, I’m twenty five years old and I feel like I’m just beginning my life. I don’t know that I will be picking up any guys in any bars, considering I left my heart in New York with Fitz, but I can still have fun. If Poppy were here she would be doing the same thing and that’s who I strive to be like.
We get into the bar and sit at a table. It’s not like the clubs I visited in New York, it’s more laid back California. It has blue walls and white floors, I assume trying to resemble the ocean just outside the door. There are big fans on the ceiling, creating a nice breeze and there isn’t a stage, just music being pumped through speakers. Not good music either, it’s loud and I can’t understand any of the lyrics.
“I’ll go grab us the first round,” Sam says, standing up. “Oh Brooklyn, what do you want?”
Crap, what do I want? I chew my lip trying to remember the name of the drink Fitz had gotten me several times. “Malibu Bay Breeze,” I say and cross my fingers it is correct.
“Damn, look at those guys over there. I’d love to sit on his face,” Jessica says, wiggling her eyebrows.
“Jess, shut the fuck up. I haven’t had sex in almost a month. A fucking month,” Cora yells, throwing her hands up in the air.
Listening to them talk about sex and how they will just do it with any stranger makes me a little jealous. Not that I want to have a one night stand, but they know what they want and they go after it. I often think about what Fitz asked me on top of the Empire State Building, when he asked what my dream was. I think it’s time I find out.
Drink after drink, we are having so much fun. I’m drunk and I find everything funny. It feels good to laugh, let loose and just enjoy life. “Can we dance in this place?” I slur, looking around.
Sam throws her head back laughing, before slamming her drink down. “I have no fucking idea, but let’s do it,” she yells and jumps up.
I follow her lead and we stand next to the table dancing to the beat. I’m swaying my hips and throwing my arms in the air. It’s so carefree and I can’t believe I’ve been such a tight ass all these years avoiding fun. That’s what this is, it’s just fun.
“You ladies look hot,” says a balding man with a huge beer belly.
“We know,” I say and laugh when Sam holds up her hand for me to high five.
He rolls his eyes and walks away, causing all of us to burst out in a fit of laughter. We sit back down and I sip on my drink.
“We need to do this again, Brooklyn you are so much fun,” Jessica says, tossing back the rest of her drink.
Just as I am about to speak the music changes and son of a bitch, Renegade comes on. My heart stops beating when I hear Fitz’s voice. I don’t move, don’t speak, don’t breathe as I listen to every word. It’s the song they sang live for me and it makes me miss them so much more than I did just five minutes ago.
“Hey Brooklyn, you alright? You look like you saw a ghost,” Cora says, waving a hand in front of my face.
The song ends and I look around at them. “I just love that song.”
“Right, Renegade. Holy fuck, I can’t believe you hung out with them. Like did you really hang out with them or was it like you were just in the same room?” Sam asks, generally interested.
I giggle and lean in close. “I was in Fitz’s house bitches,” I say, trying to whisper, but it’s more like a shout.
“Shut the fuck up,” Jessica says, hitting my arm. Cora and Sam tell me how jealous they are and that they would give anything to hang out with the band.
“They aren’t a band to me, they’re my friends,” I say and stand up. “I need to get going.” Sam reaches for my purse and I laugh. “Don’t worry I’m calling a cab. Thank you guys for a fun night, I definitely look forward to doing it again.”
I get a cab home and when I walk inside I fall onto the couch and dial Poppy’s number. It’s been too long and tonight I am missing her and the guys more than I have. It’s probably the alcohol, or maybe it’s that I know they will be around here soon, but the need to talk to her is overwhelming.
“Holy fuck Brooklyn, what’s wrong?” Poppy answers and I look at the clock. Shit.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how late it was,” I say and get ready to hang up.
“Don’t be an asshole, I’m not sleeping, but it’s way past your bedtime. So again, what’s wrong?” she asks and I hear a door close.
“I went to the bar and just got home. I’m leaving Hank, I’ve been miserable and I miss you so much. I miss all of you,” I say and feel tears running down my face.
She doesn’t say anything for a minute and I think she’s hung up. “Brooklyn, I have been so fucking worried about you. Why would you ignore all my phone calls and texts?”