Page 26 of Almost There
“You said your cobbler was about to burn,” Tessa whispered once the silence became unbearable.
“Can’t have that.” Agnes laughed, clapping Tessa on the back. “I used the last of the canned blackberry pie filling. It’d be a shame if it wasn’t enjoyed before we never have it again.”
You’re going to need to get gas. Tessa sat in the recliner with her knees pulled to her chest, half heartedly stopping the kids from their third plate of cobbler before their bellies exploded. She smiled a little when they tried to coax the cats from the bedroom with the string and then Moose lifted his head up from the spot he’d claimed by the wood stove, sending them scurrying back down the hall with the kids in pursuit. At least they haven’t broken anything yet.
“You don’t talk much.” Agnes leaned back against the loveseat and sipped on her drink as she looked to Robin who sat perched on the edge of the embroidered straight back chair.
“I don’t have much to say.” Robin shifted uncomfortably under the woman’s gaze.
“A drink might loosen your tongue.” Agnes laughed as she danced her way to the kitchen. She pulled out another mason jar and carried it back to Robin.
“Thank you,” Robin said, suspicious as she twisted off the lid and took a sniff. “Is this like moonshine or something?”
Agnes laughed, a deep throated and chesty sound, as she slapped her hand against her leg. “Moonshine is illegal, darling. This here is the finest vodka you’ll ever taste.”
A numb detachment settled over Tessa as she sat watching the women sip their drinks after the kids had been tucked into bed. Robin and Agnes were curled up on the loveseat talking about cats. Tessa’s mind kept wondering, replaying Sally’s words from earlier, and trying to decide if there was real fear within them. She needed a plan B. Just in case. But they were safe enough here, for now. The day after tomorrow might be a different story. She wanted to close her eyes and wish this all away.
There was a lull in the conversation, just long enough that she wouldn’t be rude to tell them goodnight and go lay in bed with her own anxious thoughts. Tessa moved to stand.
“Who hurt you?” Agnes asked. Tessa sank back against the chair and bit her tongue as Robin took a long drink from the glass. If this was the moment she bared her soul, Tessa owed it to be there for her.
“No one important.” Robin shrugged; her face warm in the candlelight.
Agnes sighed as she rubbed the back of her neck. “I can believe that. No one is as important as you are.”
The tears in Robin’s eyes made them glossy, shining with the reflection of the burning candles. “I didn’t mean to fight back. Honestly, I thought it was some sort of joke. We’re in a really nice part of town and our apartment complex has great security. I don’t think my brain could comprehend what was happening.” Tessa dug her nails into the skin of her arms remembering the broken hinges on the gate to the complex and the haggard state the building had fallen into.
“Are you sure you’re okay to talk about this?” A motherly concern overwhelmed her.
Robin nodded, taking another sip as she continued, “I didn’t open the door but they kicked it in anyway. I should have blocked it somehow. But then there were three men with guns. It’s crazy, but I can’t even remember their faces and it was two weeks ago. How does two weeks feel like a lifetime already? They did have these matching tear drop tattoos by their eyes. I remember that, and thinking they must be really sad. It’s weird how our brains work sometimes. Like why did I care if they were sad?”
Robin lowered her head in shame and Tessa jumped to her feet to save her. “You don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to.”
She lifted the mason jar to her lips and took another drink. “It’s okay. Maybe if I can say it out loud then it won’t feel as scary anymore.” Agnes scooted closer, her knee touching Robin’s leg, and Tessa moved to the arm of the loveseat, hoping to provide comfort with the closeness.
Tears rolled down Robin’s cheeks as she sighed. “Part of me wishes I was stronger, that I’d have fought back harder, and the other part can’t help but think that if I’d just given them the food like they asked then maybe it wouldn’t have happened at all.”
Bile rose in the back of Tessa’s throat. “None of this is your fault.”
“I know that.” Robin dried her tears with her sleeve. “And they took my food anyway. I did get some decent hits in though.”
“Good for you.” Agnes clapped her on the back. Not so rough, Tessa thought, but Robin cracked a smile.
“Men are garbage anyway.” Agnes downed the rest of her drink.
“Not all of them,” Tessa whispered.
“That’s the worst part.” Robin reached for Tessa’s hand, nodding in agreement. “If Joe finds out what happened, it’s going to destroy him. He can’t stand it when I get hurt.” She chuckled softly as she recalled some distant memory. “The time I caught Covid he was such a worried mess that I ended up taking care of him for a week. He wouldn’t even let me isolate and refused to let me sleep alone in the bed. Our bed…”
She swallowed hard past the lump in her throat. “I kept thinking if I could just get rid of the mattress then I could spare him from the truth. But I don’t know if I could keep this from him if he ever comes back.”
Tessa wrapped her arms around Robin and pulled her close to her chest. “Whatever happens when he comes back, we’ll deal with it together.”
A soft breeze drifted along with the faint moonlight through the curtains as Tessa laid awake on the twin size mattress. Mason was tucked next to her side. She rested her hand on Emily’s back, feeling the slight rise and fall of her chest, as the girl slept on the pull-out trundle bed with her feet in Robin’s face. The catharsis and alcohol had pulled Robin into a deep sleep and her snores filled the room.
She needs it. Tessa tried to close her eyes again. It was safe out here, she knew that in her bones, but the worry about everything else was so constricting that she couldn’t stop her thoughts from racing. I miss you so much it hurts.
“Are you okay, Mom?” Mason’s soft whisper took her by surprise and she rolled over to see him staring at her in the dark.