Page 20 of Academically Yours
The coffee shop. The library. Asleep on a couch tucked into one of the corners of the business building. Eating a salad at the cafeteria on campus. But this? I kept myself from groaning as I watched her from afar, wearing a pair of leggings and a giant crew-neck hoodie. Noelle bit her lip as she stared at the display of cookies.
I almost thought she was standing there debating whether or not she should get them. It made me smile. A lot of the things this girl did had that effect on me. I didn’t want to take the time to analyze why that might be, why I’m so entranced by her presence. Even with her hair up in a messy bun and no makeup on, it hit me once again how beautiful she was. It wasn’t even in a sexy way, just the way her freckles were splattered all over her nose and cheekbones and the glow her bare skin had—she just lit up any space she was in. And somehow whenever she was around, I was always noticing the little things she did.
She always had some kind of sweets on her. Seriously, I’d known her for a little over two weeks, and I think I’d seen her eat almost every dessert or pastry I could imagine. Muffins, scones, coffee cake, cinnamon rolls, cupcakes, those little chocolate pastries she liked to sneak at the coffee shop when she thought no one was looking. Maybe no one else is, but I am, I thought. I couldn’t help myself from noticing the little way she scrunched her nose when she was focused, or the way she laughed when she was genuinely amused. Her little snorts, and then the way she giggled when they caught her by surprise.
I couldn’t explain what those things did to me because I didn’t understand it myself. All I knew is it made me want to know more, want to get to know the girl behind all of those things. I wanted to know her coffee order, her music tastes, and the trivial things I could never know just by observing her.
I stared at her deliberating on the cookies for so long that I realized she might catch me and think I’m a creep, so I make my way over to her, basket in hand. I hadn’t needed that much when I stopped at the grocery store that night—just picking up a few things for dinner for the upcoming week—so it was fairly easy to glide quietly up behind her.
“I can tell you want them,” I finally said.
“Oh!” Noelle exclaimed, a little startled as she dropped the package in her hand back on the pile before turning to me. “Oh. It’s you.” She bit her lip, and then picked back up the package of red velvet cookies.
“Get the cookies,” I urged her again. “You know you want them.”
She laughed. “You’re right. I do.” Noelle looked at me and then she sighed. “It’s just… a lot of people in my life have told me I need to stop eating so much sugar.” She looked down at her cart and shrugged. “I mean… maybe they’re right.”
I shook my head. “That’s stupid, and you know it.” I tried to keep my eyes from roaming down her body, appreciating her ample curves and lovely form. When she went to protest, I stopped her. “I promise, you don’t need to worry about that. Seriously.”
She blushed. A little red tint spread over her nose and cheekbones, but I could see the color creeping up her neck, as well. “Um, thanks.” She looked at my basket, at the veggies, meat, and the few healthy snacks it contained. “Wow, you seriously weren’t kidding when you said you didn’t eat sweets.” She twisted up her face, like she was contemplating how that was possible, and then looked at me.
I snickered at her expression. She was so serious. “I wasn’t.” It wasn’t like her cart was just junk—it was clear she fed herself healthy food too, and it wasn’t like I hadn’t seen her eating a salad before. But something about her eating desserts and sweet food was exactly right, and it warmed my soul.
“What?” Noelle asked, one eyebrow arched as I chuckled to myself.
“You’re just different from so many people I’ve met, Noelle,” I murmured, as we still stood talking over the cookies.
Her voice dropped lower to meet the same register as mine. “In a good way?” I could hear her breath catch. When had we moved so close together? We were only a breath apart, enough distance for my hand to reach out and grab hers. But I didn’t—didn’t let myself touch her. I couldn’t because it was going to end me if I did. Just like she already had just by showing up in my life.
“Yeah. In a good way,” I confirmed. She just stood there, gnawing on her bottom lip, and I wanted to know what was going on inside her head, but I didn’t have the right to ask. We weren’t friends, after all. Just a little bit more than acquaintances. She still called me Professor Harper, for goodness sakes. I shouldn’t ask her what’s on her mind. I shouldn’t have wanted to follow her around the store to ask her what all of her favorite foods were. What was I going to do with that information? Cook her dinner? No. Absolutely not.
“Right,” she nodded, finally putting the cookies in her cart.
“Well…” I trailed off. What else could I possibly say to her? How could I possibly keep her talking? It was crazy: during the last fifteen years, there were less than ten people who I liked enough to want to sit around and talk to all day—and two of them were gone. But something about being around her just felt right. Like something had clicked into place inside of me.
I didn’t know what to do with that, but I also knew I couldn’t admit those things. Couldn’t ask her for more time. Because it was crazy—all of this was.
Noelle gave me one last smile before she glanced at her cart and said, “I guess I should probably get home now. Goodbye, Professor Harper. It was good to see you.”
“Yeah. It was good to see you too.” And it really was.